


Doctor Who - The Day The Earth Turned Straight

by Classicsitcom



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classicsitcom/pseuds/Classicsitcom
Summary: A third Doctor adventure with Liz Shaw - set just after 'Inferno' and offering a possible explanation for Liz's departure from UNIT and the series. In this adventure, set in 1976 and 2016, the Doctor and Liz find themselves in the most bizarre and alien environment imaginable - the planet Earth ( and particularly south east England obviously ) in the present day. Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart also appears. The whole world is menaced when an alien lands in England with a message for the planet - a message that some people aren't going to like... contains language and attitudes prevalent to the 1970s





	Doctor Who - The Day The Earth Turned Straight

Starring Jon Pertwee as the Doctor and Caroline John as Liz Shaw

The Doctor - that mysterious traveller in time and space - was engrossed in his favourite pastime. His favourite pastime, that is, since the rulers of his world had exiled him to the planet Earth in the time period of the 1970s. That pastime, of course, was tinkering with his TARDIS and trying to restore it to being the miraculous travelling vehicle it had once been. The Doctor at the present moment was working for - or, rather, working with - the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce and although his recent schedule had been busy - dealing with the attempted Nestene invasion of Earth, the problem with the Silurians, the abduction of astronauts from the Mars Probe 7 spaceship and the scare involving 'Project Inferno' - at the moment the Doctor was at a loose end.  
The Doctor's assistant at UNIT was Liz Shaw. Liz was an attractive young woman and a brilliant young scientist too. One of the country's finest brains, in fact, if she was immodestly prepared to admit it. Her knowledge of meteorites had brought her to UNIT when a hostile alien race had tried to invade Earth using living plastic creatures as weapons. Rather odd considering that Liz had originally thought that working for UNIT would be dull.  
Liz was not helping the Doctor with the TARDIS however - brilliant scientific mind or not, the Doctor's technology was way beyond her and way beyond any technology anywhere on 1970s Earth as well. In fact, Liz was aware that the Doctor had simply lost track of time and she had dropped in to the laboratory and in to the TARDIS to tell him it was early evening.  
"Really, Liz." Said the Doctor with an enthusiastic tone in his voice "What time is it ?"  
"It's quarter past seven." Said Liz.  
"Quarter past seven, eh ?" Said the Doctor running a hand through his shock of snow white hair.  
"Exactly 19:16 to be precise." Clarified Liz.  
"Righto," said the Doctor "I believe I have set up these connections properly and we can move forward in time by a small increment."  
"Move forward in time ?" Asked Liz with some incredulity because although she knew full well that the Doctor's machine was supposed to travel through space and time she had never actually seen it do so.  
"Not too far forward." He said reassuringly "Just about 1 hour in to the future. To approximately 20:16. Ready ?"  
Liz realised that the doctor was quite serious and a frisson of excitement and fear passed through her trim body.  
"Yes, of course." She said.  
"Good for you, Liz." Said the Doctor delighted at Liz's quiet courage in the face of something that would cause some panic to even the most strong minded of human beings. "I don't need to close the TARDIS doors for this so you keep an eye on the clock out there on the wall."  
The Doctor pressed a few buttons and Liz involuntarily moved closer to the central console and took a firm grip. There was a humming sound first then another separate higher pitched tone, a wheezing sound came next and the central column of the TARDIS main console began to move gently upwards. Smoke began to drift through the buttons and levers on the console but, before Liz could even say a word, there was a massive explosion from the centre of the console. Liz and the Doctor were thrown backwards across the floor of the TARDIS where they lay motionless.  
Liz regained consciousness first and pulled herself to her feet, she staggered across the TARDIS control room to the Doctor who was sitting up holding his head.  
"Everything all right ?" He asked cheerfully.  
"All right ?" Said Liz with some incredulity "you blew us up !"  
"Yes, I noticed that." Said the Doctor "I think one of the connections may have malfunctioned."  
"I think we have moved through time though, Doctor," said Liz pointing out of the TARDIS doors "it's quarter past ten now."  
The Doctor looked out the TARDIS doors with some triumph, the time dimension shift had worked. The TARDIS had not moved through space but it most certainly had moved through time.  
Liz and the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS into their UNIT laboratory.

A dark metallic grey, saucer shaped, interstellar spaceship maneuvered itself in to Earth orbit...

"This isn't the same room." Said Liz looking round at the unfamiliar surroundings, "It isn't the same clock."  
"It is the same room, Liz." Said the Doctor calmly, "It's the same room but with different fittings and flooring. You can see the shape of the walls is still the same."  
"Here's a newspaper," said Liz reaching in to a bin. She gasped. "2016 Doctor, the year 2016."  
"So we're still right here at UNIT HQ but forward... is it 40 years ?"  
"Forty years." Confirmed Liz nodding rather numbly. "The year 2016 instead of the time 20:16 hours."  
"Who are you two ?" Demanded a voice from the doorway - the voice of a man in military uniform, an army private with the shoulder flashes of UNIT.  
"Hello there." Said the Doctor.  
"How did you get in here ?" Demanded the soldier.  
"Well, one question at a time old chap." Said the Doctor "I am the Doctor and this is my very good friend Liz Shaw. We both work for UNIT."  
"I have my pass." Said Liz holding out a square of cardboard which the soldier looked at in amazement - "That pass looks a bit out of date." He said.  
"Yes, I suppose it does." Said Liz. The soldier barked out some words in to the corridor behind him and a moment later was joined by a corporal and another private. To Liz's surprise the corporal was a woman and she quickly took control of the situation. As she eyed up the Doctor and Liz, she said "Would you please accompany me to my Commanding Officer." It was more an instruction than a request.  
"Good idea," said the Doctor "Take us to your leader."  
"It wouldn't by any chance be Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart would it ?" Asked Liz.  
"As a matter of fact, yes it is." Replied the corporal and the Doctor and Liz exchanged relieved glances. "Come this way."  
She turned smartly and marched along the corridor.

The relief that the Doctor and Liz felt, however, was short lived as the Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart they met a few moments later was not who they expected at all.  
"Thank you very much Corporal Benton." Said the Brigadier and the woman corporal took up position inside the door of the Brigadier's office. "Sit down please." Said the Brigadier indicating two chairs. The Doctor and Liz sat down as requested.  
"You're not Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart are you ?" queried the Doctor.  
The Brigadier smiled in a friendly and surprised manner.  
"No," he said "I'm Brigadier John Lethbridge-Stewart. Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart is my father. He is now General Lethbridge-Stewart honorary commander in chief of UNIT - the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce that is."  
"We know what it stands for." Said Liz "We both work for UNIT."  
"Really ?" Said the Brigadier "Well, I am the commanding officer of UNIT's British section and I don't think I recognise you."  
"My name is Liz Shaw." Said Liz "and this is The Doctor. Doctor John Smith, in fact, scientific advisor to UNIT."  
"You have identification of course." Responded the Brigadier who began typing on a keyboard in front of him.  
'Funny time to start typing a letter.' thought Liz 'Funny looking typewriter too.' Liz, of course, being from 1976 had never seen a desktop computer before. She thought it even more odd when the Brigadier seemed to start watching a small flat television on his desk as well. The Brigadier, of course, was running a security check on his computer and the results seemed somewhat unsatisfactory to him.  
"Professor Liz Shaw of Cambridge University ?" He asked.  
"Yes." Said Liz "That's right."  
"What age are you Miss Shaw ?" He asked.  
"That's not a question you should be asking a lady, Brigadier." Said the Doctor in a voice combining friendliness and insistence "Is Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart on the premises. ?"  
"Not at the moment." Answered the Brigadier.  
"Pity." Said the Doctor "He would vouch for us. It's a bit complicated to explain."  
"Really." Said the Brigadier becoming more absorbed in the screen that Liz thought was a television set. "There have been a number of UNIT scientific advisors called John Smith in the past and you, sir, do not resemble any of..." He paused and stared at the screen "... or maybe you do." He said quietly.  
The Brigadier picked up a small rectangular object made of metal and glass that Liz couldn't quite identify and began touching it with his forefinger.  
"Tell you what, old chap." Said the Doctor "Give him a ring, he'll recognise my voice."  
"Voices can be misleading Doctor," said the Brigadier "We'll face-time him."  
"Do what to him ?" Asked Liz stopping abruptly as she heard the Brigadier's voice in the room - the voice of 'her' Brigadier - Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart. She looked round then realised that the voice was coming from the object in John Lethbridge-Stewart's hand.  
"Hello General." Said the Brigadier in a strictly military tone.  
"Good morning son" responded the other voice much less informally "I'm off duty just now, you don't need to salute or anything." the voice joked.  
"I have two people here at HQ," continued the Brigadier remaining rigidly formal "They claim to be Doctor John Smith and Elizabeth Shaw. Do the names mean anything to you."  
The delight was evident in the responding voice - "The Doctor and Miss Shaw !" It exclaimed in surprise.  
"Hello Brigadier!" Said the Doctor cheerfully.  
"It's General Lethbridge-Stewart now old chap." Responded the voice. "Gone up in the world."  
"Can you give me a visual identification ?" Asked the Brigadier sitting at the desk and he turned his mobile 'phone round and held it towards the Doctor and Liz. To her astonishment Liz saw the face of her one time commanding officer on the little screen.  
"Oh it's that one, is it!" Said the General smiling "Hello Doctor !"   
"Hello there." Said the Doctor looking both at the picture and the technology it was displayed on with scientific curiosity.  
"Hello." Said the General "Miss Shaw as well ?"  
Liz waved at the screen. "Hello Brigadier." She said realising that she had used the wrong rank identifier, "I mean General." She smiled at the familiar face - familiar though somewhat older and fuller than it had been when she had last seen it half an hour ago - or 40 years to be more precise.  
"That's them !" Said the General "100% visual identification. I'll be there in half an hour."

During that half hour the dark metallic grey interstellar spaceship entered the Earth's atmosphere somewhere near the north pole. It had travelled many millions of miles with a message for the people of Earth. A message that some of the people of Earth weren't going to like.

By the time General Lethbridge-Stewart arrived at UNIT HQ, the organisation was in a state of high alert. The dark metallic grey interstellar spaceship had been detected by Earth radar as it sped southwards towards the northern end of Great Britain. The people of the Shetland Islands were the first human beings to see it as it sped over them. Years of practice and experience had honed UNIT in to a fine tool of response against alien menace and the promptly scrambled RAF jets intercepted the spaceship over the Midlands where it immediately vanished. Vanished inasmuch as it became invisible to the eye and to radar though it was still audible to people on the ground as it rushed by.  
"It's materialised over Hampstead Heath." announced a communications officer at UNIT "It's now visible and has landed on the Heath."  
"Right enough." Said Corporal Benton holding out her mobile 'phone "It's all over Twitter."   
"What's Twitter ?" Asked Liz Shaw only to be met by blank and disbelieving stares.  
"I wonder what it wants." Said the Doctor watching the events on the BBC 24 News.  
"We'll find that out once we have that area secured." Said the Brigadier.  
The police had already made a good job of securing the area around Hampstead Heath and very soon they were replaced by UNIT and regular army troops. These were highly trained men and women ready for action at a moment's notice... so they probably felt rather disappointed when the saucer sat on the Heath for 24 hours without any apparent sign of life or movement. 24 hours during which, of course, the world's media went mad. UNIT and the regular army set up camp on the Heath - literally. Tents, bivouacs, catering vehicles, portaloos and, of course, a certain amount of discreetly set up weaponry sprawled around the grassland.

By next morning the cameras of the world's media were focused directly on the saucer... waiting for it to open. UNIT was also waiting for the saucer to open. General Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart, Brigadier John Lethbridge-Stewart, the Doctor, Liz Shaw and a few other people representing the government and the various security wings thereof had the responsibility of meeting and greeting the inhabitants of the saucer if they were prepared to come out.  
At 11 am the door in the side of the saucer opened and the whole world could just peek inside the saucer. The 'meeting and greeting' delegation walked up towards the craft filled with a mixture of dread and fascination.   
"Should we go in ?" Asked the Brigadier.  
"I think we'll wait and see if anyone wants to come out first." Said the Doctor.  
As he spoke, there was some movement inside the saucer. A dark figure appeared, an awkward large shape, difficult to define or identify. It moved slowly, shuffling, shambling and had a distinctly non humanoid shape. The figure stepped out of the saucer in to the daylight. It was an insect. A huge insect with all the distinctive characteristics of its species - six legs, though it stood upright on the back two and used the other four as arms, a dark brown, almost black shiny exoskeleton unencumbered by any sort of clothing, its head was devoid of any human features being a smooth dark ball with large honeycombed eyes like those of a bluebottle massively magnified and a gaping, lipless mouth surrounded by a pair of external mandibles. Two antennae protruded from the top of the creatures head. It advanced towards its reception committee and was followed by another similar, slightly smaller creature of the same species as it.  
'Similar to the Zarbi,' thought the Doctor 'though a different species.'  
It took quite an effort of nerve on behalf of the General, the Brigadier and their companions to calmly accept their visitors approach as everything about the creatures was instinctively hideous and repellent to the human eye and mind.  
"Welcome to the planet Earth." Said the Doctor in a friendly tone and stepping slightly forward of the rest of the group.  
The leading alien regarded him with its blank, expressionless face.  
"Thank you for your greeting." It said.  
The sound of a human like voice speaking English dispelled the feelings of fear and distrust immediately.   
"On behalf of the entire planet and this country I second that welcome." Said the Brigadier "May I ask where you have come from ?"  
"We have come from a long way away. We have travelled many millions of your miles to reach you." Replied the alien - his voice was low, gutteral, deep.  
"And the purpose of your visit ?" Asked the Doctor.  
"We have come in peace, I assure you." Came the response "However, we have brought a vitally important message for the people of your planet."  
"That message is...?" Quizzed the Doctor.  
"That message is ... something that will be made clear in the fullness of time."  
"As you wish." Said the Brigadier "My name is John Lethbridge-Stewart. Do you have a name."  
"My name is Normallo." Answered the creature "My companion is my sister Nogaiz She cannot communicate with you. Before our journey, surgeons on my planet operated on me and modified my organs of speech so that I could speak in a way that will be understood by humans. I am fluent in English and several other Earth languages."  
"May I ask how you will deliver this message of yours ?"  
"The message will be delivered 'live' as you say, on television. I see that the ... media, is that the word ... are already present. You will arrange for me to broadcast live to the world at 10.00 am tomorrow."  
"It may take some time to arrange such a broadcast." Said the General.  
"Every country on your Earth has television and 24 hour news programming. The message will be delivered live on television, tomorrow, globally."  
The government official spoke next - "The UK government would appreciate an advance copy of your broadcast Mr Normallo." He said.  
"I'm sure they would." Replied the alien creature "But they will not get it. Your government will hear the message at the same time as every other person and government hears it." It was obvious that Normallo was not prepared to negotiate on the matter. "In the meantime," he continued "My sister and I would appreciate one of these tent structures for shelter and a supply of food. Your Earth cabbages and apples will be adequate."  
"Of course you'll have those straightaway Normallo," said the Brigadier "but we can provide alternative accommodation for you both..."  
"We will remain right here near our craft. We only require a tent and food." Insisted Normallo and walked away, the conversation being obviously finished.  
The Doctor, the Brigadier, the General, Liz and the government officials walked back away from the saucer and towards the ring of armed guards.   
"Are these guards to keep our visitor away from the public or to keep the public away from the visitors ?" He asked.  
"That's a good question Doctor." Said the General.  
"You men there," barked the Brigadier "Cabbages and apples, at the double."

By the next morning, it had been arranged for the Prime Minister to visit Hampstead Heath and address the world's media before joining Normallo for the delivery of the message.  
"What's the Prime Minister's name just now," asked the Doctor "I don't think I've met him."  
The General laughed - "The Prime Minister of Great Britain, Doctor, is a woman."  
"A woman ? Really ?" Asked Liz "Fantastic, I never thought we'd see a female prime minister."  
"She's actually the second one we've had." Said the General "Her name is Jeresa Corbmay. She's already here, in fact, just over there."  
Two lecterns had been set up on the Heath - luckily it was a warm, dry day - the Prime Minister would speak first and introduce Normallo and then the 'message' would be revealed. There was great speculation in the media about what the 'message' might be - possibly about a potentially dangerous asteroid or nuclear power or over-population, maybe a warning about fracking or according to some theorists about the human race being an alien experiment started millions of years ago.   
The Doctor along with Liz, the General and the Brigadier took their seats amongst dignitaries who had assembled for Normallo's speech. British political leaders and ambassadors from every country in the world formed a sizeable crowd all gathered to hear the speech of an alien from another planet.  
The Prime Minister spoke for a few minutes welcoming Normallo and his sister to Earth and expressing all sorts of hopes that the human race and the alien's race could work together for the betterment of the planet, the solar system, the galaxy, even the universe. Mrs Corbmay was a competent though uninspiring speaker and the doctor earned an elbow in the ribs from the General when he speculated on "how much longer" they would have to wait to hear from Normallo.  
Eventually the Prime Minister introduced Normallo and the alien creature stepped up to the lectern and prepared to speak.  
"My friends. Ladies and gentlemen of the world. Representatives of the peoples of Earth, my global audience, I welcome you and thank you from the bottom of my heart – as you say – for coming here today. My name is Normallo and I have travelled many, many millions of your Earth miles to come here from my home planet of Straiturn. I have received a very warm and truly touching welcome from your people.”  
He paused for polite applause…  
“This however is not, as you say, a pleasure trip. I have come here to your world with a message from an organisation called the League of The Superior Planets. It is a very important message. A warning in fact, because your planet, your people, all of you face an immediate, terrible and potentially fatal threat. That threat is what you call… the homosexuality.”  
He paused and this time there was no polite applause. There was, however, a lot of uncomfortable shifting in seats by the international dignitaries as Normallo continued…  
“Homos, poofs, queers, benders, nancy-boys, arse bandits, bum burglars, the limp wristed brigade – there are many words that you use to describe this sickening phenomenon of homosexuality. Your Earth civilisations have reached a point where homosexuals have been given more powers, more strengths, more rights until, as the situation is that they have too much power, too much strength and too many rights. More of those qualities than the normal members of your societies are now allowed. This has been done by politicians and leaders with the best will in the world, in a spirit of tolerance and so-called inclusion. It has been done, often, against the will of the majority, the majority being sexually normal people. It has been done in apparent ignorance of the insidious hunger for power that possesses homosexuals. This is no accident or coincidence, it is part of a planet wide plan by homosexuals to take over your world, this is the beginning of an inexorable shift of power from normality to the homosexuals. This is the beginning of the end for your global society. An end no less certain than an asteroid strike, your nuclear weapons, the moon exploding or even…” he paused and his voice indicated a joking and knowing tone “this fracking business.”  
There was no laughter.  
"I have come to your world as a representative of the League of Superior Planets to warn you of the dangers, the risk to your society of uncontrolled homosexuality. The stage that your civilisation is at, regarding homosexuals, is such that immediate action is called for. Immediate action for the benefit of the vast majority of humankind, the benefit of the many against the few. There is no hatred or anything negative in this matter, I have not been sent here because we hate your planet or any of your people. Quite the reverse, in the Superior Planets, we care, we care deeply about your race and want to help you to protect your own safety and that of future generations.   
"You all know full well - though you dare not openly admit it - that homosexuals are seriously mentally ill people and you know that they are sexually ill too. That is a very dangerous combination. I hardly need tell anyone on Earth that your prisons and secure hospitals are filled with people who are mentally and sexually ill. Yet, your society insists on pretending that homosexuals are normal. They are not normal. In your society, here in Great Britain and in most countries, a few decades ago, homosexuality was illegal, now... well now, homosexuals have more rights than you do. If someone attacks a man because they don’t like his tie, they will receive a prison sentence. If someone attacks a man because he is homosexual they have committed a so-called 'hate' crime and receive a heavier sentence. That is just one very simple way that homosexuals are tricking you in to granting them superiority, tricking you into handing over your powers and freedoms to them. There are many other methods, means, ways and tricks that they use as well. Homosexuals are dangerous and make bad masters. Their insanity makes them constantly desire power and control over anyone who is not like them, a desire to change those people. To force their behaviour on others. All men, of course, desire power but in homosexuals it is infinitely more dangerous. An excellent, and very important, example is this homosexual marriage nonsense. The governments - though not the people - of many countries, including Great Britain, have voted to legalise homosexual marriage. 60 years ago, it was illegal, now the government is enshrining it in law. Your parents would have laughed at the idea but now you have to accept it as normal and woe betide you if you don’t. In every country where this ridiculous obscenity, homosexual marriage has been legalised, it has happened in the face of opposition from the vast majority of what you call the 'public'. The homosexuals are demanding and seizing more and more power despite what normal people think, want or say and those powers are being handed to them.  
"Your planet is not unique in this matter. Homosexuality is an illness that affects many worlds. In all these worlds, the methods and tactics are much the same. The eroding of the rights of normal people, the stealthy moving of power from them to the homosexuals. Now your planet has reached what you in this world call the 'tipping point', the point when the Superior Planets could no longer stand by and had to step in, to warn you of the dangers and to help you deal with the matter in the most efficient way.  
“This is not an isolated phenomenon. It has happened time and time again on many, many planets throughout our galaxy. On every one of those planets, homosexuals have attacked and destroyed everything that is good, right and normal. Family life, religious freedom, marriage, free speech, free thought, society itself – these are the institutions hated by homosexuals and that are destroyed most enthusiastically wherever homosexuals are allowed the power to do so. We have reached a point now that when a world is in danger of tipping the balance of power in favour of homosexuals, when a planet is about to topple in to the abyss of homosexual tyranny, we the representatives of the Superior Planets step in and give an ultimatum. Your planet is now on the edge of that abyss and I have been chosen to present that ultimatum to your world. Within thirty days, the governments of Earth must kill every homosexual man in the world… or face the consequences. The consequences involve the utter annihilation of your world by the military forces of the Superior Planets. We have weapons that can destroy a planet in less than one of your seconds. We will not hesitate to use them. Terrible and bitter experience has taught us that it is better to burn a planet to a cinder than to allow the population to suffer under the tyrannical rule of homosexuals.  
"I have presented to you a suggestion of the necessary action - a controlled and humane weeding out of the threat - what you humans would call a 'cull'.   
"There, people of Earth, is your choice. Your planet or your poofs. I must pass on to the Superior Planets your answer to this ultimatum within seven of your Earth days. Failure to accept our terms will result in the extermination of your world in sixty of your Earth days.”  
Normallo stepped down from the stage and returned to his spaceship. The audience sat in stunned silence.

Prime Minister Mrs Corbmay called an immediate cabinet meeting which would include General Lethbridge-Stewart as a representative of UNIT and the Doctor and Liz as scientific advisors with some knowledge of alien threats. The Doctor and his companions took up three seats in a busy cabinet office at 10 Downing Street. The cabinet ministers present were all completely unknown to the Doctor and Liz and the General quietly pointed out who was the Home Secretary, the Defence Secretary and so on. One man at the cabinet table the General was unable to identify - a small unimportant looking man with a thin moustache and a slightly sneering expression. He wore a pink shirt and a white tie. The Prime Minister introduced the man as Gaylord Wilde of Stonewall.  
"What's Stonewall ?" The Doctor whispered to the General.  
Gaylord Wilde overheard and answered the question - "Stonewall is the organisation that speaks on behalf of British gays." He said.  
"What exactly are 'gays'." Asked the Doctor. There were gasps from around the cabinet table. "I'm sorry," said the Doctor," I genuinely don't know." The General buried his head in his hands.  
"Gays" explained Wilde "are the very people that this Normallo has ordered to be killed."  
"Oh," said the Doctor "homosexuals."  
"The word is 'gays' !" Snarled Wilde.  
"Doctor, please." Snapped the Prime Minister "First of all," she continued "I would like to express my shock, my disgust, my outrage at Normallo's demands. Like everyone, I recognise the great contribution to our society of the gay community and am horrified by the demands of Normallo." All the time she was speaking she was looking straight at Gaylord Wilde as if she was talking directly to him alone and begging him to believe her. Wilde's face took on its usual supercilious sneer as she did so.  
The Home Secretary also expressed his shock, disgust and outrage then the Secretary of State for Defence did the same as if they were trying to outdo each other in their desperation to assure Gaylord Wilde that they couldn't be more shocked, disgusted and outraged if they tried.  
"Thank you for your contributions, everyone." Said the Prime Minister "I hope they have reassured you Mr Wilde that we stand united behind you in these difficult times."  
"They do." Said Wilde.  
"Obviously, Her Majesty's Government rejects Normallo's demands out of hand and we will make that public - indeed it should be taken for granted but we must give Normallo the impression that we are open to negotiation. We believe it is best to give this impression essentially to buy time while we garner worldwide support at the United Nations - who, by the way, are in session right now and discussing this grave matter. My advisors tell me that Normallo may be trying to bluff us with his claims of destroying whole planets. The situation at the moment, is for us to use the seven days deadline that Normallo has mentioned to the full and consider all possible options. Obviously I mean all possible options to oppose Normallo and his plans. We reject his demands utterly and in the final resort it may be necessary to use a military option against him. I essentially mean that it may be necessary to kill Normallo and his companion. We all understand this ?"  
There was much grave nodding around the cabinet table.  
"I take it that I have unanimous support for that course of action," said the Prime Minister "including yours, of course, Mr Wilde ?"  
"No, you do not." Snapped Wilde "Normallo's speech and his demands are homophobic hate crimes and he must be arrested immediately and charged."  
The Prime Minister visibly crumbled - "Well, yes, that probably would be a better course of action then..."  
"It will be a better course of action," sneered Wilde "if you want to retain any credibility in the gay community. He must be arrested."  
"Normallo's speech suggested that he had come here from another star system, from elsewhere in the galaxy." Said the Doctor quietly but forcefully "Therefore we must assume that Normallo and his species are capable of interstellar travel. He also claims to have weapons that can destroy entire planets. It might not be very easy for the police to just walk in and slap handcuffs on him."  
"So you think he should just get away with homophobic hate speech do you ?" Snapped Wilde.  
"Well," said the Doctor, "I'm not sure I even know what homophobic hate speech means."  
There were gasps of shock around the table.  
"I've never heard the phrase." Said the Doctor.  
"The Doctor's work means that he spends a lot of time in isolation..." explained the General "... and English isn't really his first language either, please forgive him."  
"Homophobic hate speech means criticising gays." Explained Wilde "It's a crime and Normallo is guilty of it. He will be arrested for it and you might be too if you continue speaking in such an intolerant and non-inclusive way."  
"Mr Wilde," said the Doctor with an edge of irritation in his voice "I assure you that we are going to do our best to save your lot. It's not going to help if..."  
He got no further as Wilde exploded with rage - "My lot ! My lot ! How dare you speak in such an intolerant and non-inclusive way. You heard him ! You heard him everybody! Homophobic hate speech. You all heard it !" He was almost screaming, "Tell him Prime Minister."  
"Mr Wilde is quite right Doctor. You're behaviour is intolerable. I'm shocked, disgusted and outraged by it."  
Several voices around the table promptly expressed their own shock, disgust and outrage at the Doctor's comments.  
"Who's running this meeting ?" Asked the Doctor of the Prime Minister "You or him ?" He pointed at Wilde.  
The Prime Minister floundered for a moment - "Like everyone I recognise the great contribution to our society of the gay community." She finally blurted out.  
"I'm sure their contribution must be wonderful." Said the Doctor "Everyone here keeps saying so."  
"Are you going to let him talk like this ?" Demanded Wilde.  
"Doctor, I won't warn you again !" Said the Prime Minister.  
"Be careful." Warned the General and the Doctor forced himself to calm down...  
"We've obviously got off on the wrong foot here." He said "Now, I have a little experience of dealing with alien invasion, quite a lot of experience in fact. This Normallo has come to Earth to exterminate homosexuals and I can assure you I will do everything possible to prevent that."  
"Gays !" Shouted Wilde exploding like a volcano "The word is gays."  
"Gays, homos, poofs, does it matter ?" Said the Doctor and the General buried his face in his hands again.  
The Prime Minister banged her fist on the table - "Doctor !" She snapped "Don't you dare use such intolerant and non-inclusive language here !"  
"If you can show as much anger towards Normallo as you are showing towards me," said the Doctor "He'll probably skedaddle back to Straiturn in no time at all."  
Wilde had his mobile 'phone in his hand "You all heard him say the word 'poof' - homophobic hate speech, I'm 'phoning the police, you'll go to jail for this. You'll go to jail. We all heard you."  
"For goodness sake, Mr Wilde..." Said Liz.  
"You just shut up or I'll have you arrested as an accessory to homophobic hate speech." Snarled Wilde.  
"Now look here." Said the Doctor standing up.  
"Let's all calm down, shall we ?" Said the General.  
"Do you want to be arrested too, General ?" Said Wilde.  
"This is ridiculous !" Said the General as the cabinet room doors opened and two policemen entered.  
"What's happening here ?" Asked one of them.  
"Nothing at all is happening here." Said the Doctor "We're having a frank discussion."  
"Homophobic hate speech." Said Wilde "This man is guilty of a hate crime and is to be arrested. I am the victim."  
"Do you need counselling, Mr Wilde." Said one of the policemen.  
"I don't think so." Said Wilde "I'm all right but deeply shocked."  
"With respect, Mr Wilde," said the General "The Doctor is our best hope for dealing with this situation, maybe even our only chance."  
"I'm sorry General," said the Prime Minister "but you must understand we can't tolerate such homophobic speech."  
"I was under the impression that Great Britain was a free country. A country where people were allowed freedom of speech."  
The General winced - "Not really, Doctor, not with regard to the gay community."  
"Prime Minister." Said Wilde "Tell these police officers to arrest the Doctor."  
"Arrest the Doctor," said the Prime Minister "and charge him with homophobic hate speech."  
The Doctor was taken by the arms and pulled towards the doors of the cabinet room.  
"Now arrest Normallo." Said Wilde.  
"You're making a big mistake." Said the Doctor as he was dragged out of the room followed by Liz while the General stayed sitting at the cabinet table.

Over the next 24 hours there were huge anti homosexuality demonstrations all over the world. Smaller scale demonstrations took place as well, specifically ones involving two or three people demonstrating physically against lone homosexuals. In the UK there were 'gay-bashing' attacks in every city and major town as well as violence outside and inside bars and clubs associated with predominantly homosexual clientele. The night after Normallo's speech was a kind of 'kristalnacht' for the world’s homosexuals. Ordinary, respectable people, family men and women, gay haters and gay bashers went on a rampage with a vengeance. It was bad enough before when some individuals could be roused to aggression by a mincing walk or a simpering tone of voice but now? Now the homosexual community represented a mortal threat to the entire planet. The homosexual community did this quite unwittingly of course, but for their tormentors and attackers, that was no excuse. The first murder of a homosexual man in the UK had occurred at 3.00pm - just 5 hours after Normallo's speech.  
At 7.00pm the Prime Minister appeared live on TV with Gaylord Wilde who made a short speech vowing that the LGBT community were alarmed by Normallo’s statements but neither intimidated nor frightened by them. The Prime Minister spoke too, dismissing and condemning Normallo’s demands and vowing to stand by the GBLT community – a blunder that made the community sound like a sandwich and led to global mockery – Wilde corrected her and the press conference dangerously approached farce. The gaffe over the wording came back to haunt Mrs Corbmay when Normallo used social media to clarify his position. The Superior Planets had no quarrel with lesbians or transgender individuals. Only homosexual men were the target, only they were to be exterminated. Normallo apologised for the misunderstanding the way someone would apologise for spilling a drink. Normallo also suggested that it was 'typical' of homosexuals - the real enemies of your Earth as he put it - to try to bolster support by linking themselves spuriously with other minority groups. Normallo hoped that this would calm the fears of the ‘LGBT community as they are commonly known’- obviously poking fun at the Prime Minister’s mix-up.  
The level of violence in the USA reached virtually uncontrollable levels within 12 hours and by 24 hours a state of anarchy verging on civil war had erupted in many cities. A combination of UFO obsession, religious fundamentalism and an absence of gun control plunged that country in to chaos.   
At the same time, however, the United Nations overwhelmingly - but not unanimously - decided to reject the ultimatum from the Superior Planets. China and Russia abstained claiming that the whole thing was a gigantic fraud being perpetrated on the world by the USA . Couched in diplomatic language, the rejection made it clear that the world was prepared to stand up to Normallo and, if necessary, to stand up to him with force. Arab countries tamely toed the international line but several African states tacitly approved of the extermination of homosexuals. Sometimes, in fact, not very tacitly. Some African nations had very small homosexual communities - very small openly homosexual communities, that is - and those communities enjoyed little understanding or tolerance at the best of times. In those countries, with every hour that passed, Normallo's will was done with a horrifying gusto and relish by gun and machete wielding mobs. 

Next morning by dawn thousands of protestors had surrounded Hampstead Heath vociferously opposing the demands of Normallo from outside the army and police cordon. A group of UNIT commandos was already mingling with the army, 100 yards from Normallo's saucer. The group was led by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and included Corporal Benton and six other hand picked privates.  
"I have here an arrest warrant for Normallo on a charge of homophobic hate speech," explained the Brigadier "and we are going to arrest and seize Normallo right now. You've already been briefed, you know exactly what to do. We have no weapons, we are making a civilian arrest, we can physically restrain Normallo but we don't want an untidy melee with the guy. If he is physically strong enough to resist us then we withdraw - understood ?"  
The group nodded collectively.  
"He might be very strong, sir." Said one of the privates "Insects are very strong, they can lift many times their own body weight, can't they ?"  
"Thank you for the natural history lesson," said the Brigadier "We'll find out soon enough. Benton ?"  
"Sir." Said Corporal Benton "The other one is inside the saucer, Normallo is sitting out in the sun, he's a good 50 metres from the saucer. Looks like he might be asleep in fact."  
"All the better for us then," said the Brigadier "Apparently Normallo and Nogaiz never leave the saucer together, one of them is always inside. Right let's go, at the double."  
The squad of soldiers dashed across the grass towards the resting alien creature. It looked up in some surprise as they approached but made no other move.  
"Not asleep !" Said Corporal Benton to no-one in particular.  
In a moment the insectoid alien was surrounded.  
"I am authorized by Her Majesty's Government and the Metropolitan Police to arrest you, Normallo, on a charge if homophobic hate speech. You must come with us."  
Strong arms gripped the alien's appendages and it was pulled across the grass, offering no resistance and without protest. The other alien looked out of the open hatch of the saucer and glowered - as much as an insect face with virtually no moving parts can glower.  
"We've got him." Said the Brigadier as his unit pushed their captive in to a police van.  
"That was easy enough sir." Said Corporal Benton with a note of relief in her voice.  
"Yes, Corporal," said the Brigadier "Let's just hope his sister doesn't blow up the whole planet in retaliation."

At the same moment, Liz Shaw was collecting the Doctor from Westminster police station.  
"I've been charged with some trumped up nonsense of a homophobic hate crime," Said the Doctor "and bailed to appear in court next week. What's the latest on Normallo ?"  
"Well," said Liz as she and the Doctor entered a UNIT landrover driven by General Lethbridge-Stewart, "This morning, they arrested Normallo..."  
"The fools," said the Doctor "They're just going to make him angry, and the last thing we want is an alien as powerful as Normallo getting angry."  
"He's being held at UNIT headquarters, we'll go straight there." Said Liz as the General started the car and pulled out in to the traffic.  
"That isn't actually the worst of it, Doctor." Said the General "I'm under pressure to dismiss you from UNIT, the media are savaging you over this homophobia charge."  
"You're trending worldwide on Twitter, Doctor." Said Liz.  
"What exactly does that mean ?" Asked the Doctor.  
"I'm not really sure," said Liz "It can be a good thing or a bad thing and for you, it's a bad thing."  
"There's no way I can resist this kind of pressure, Doctor," said the General "It's coming right from the top."  
"That spineless Prime Minister, I suppose," said the Doctor "or more likely her master, Wilde."  
"Hm, said the General in a non committal tone "I'd obviously like you to stay on in an unofficial capacity Doctor."  
"Of course," said the Doctor "I'll commit myself to this until we've beaten Normallo... or until he destroys your planet. Whichever comes first. By the way, where's Bessie ?"

The police and UNIT cleared a path through a crowd of 1000s of protestors outside UNIT HQ allowing the General to drive straight in. The crowd were demanding that Normallo be killed and the appearance of the Doctor in the landrover prompted loud booing and the throwing of hundreds of missiles in his direction.  
"Ungrateful fools !" Snapped the Doctor brushing his coat down and composing himself "Are you all right Liz ?"  
"I'm fine." Said Liz.  
"There was a demonstration earlier in support of Normallo," said the General "but the police broke it up and arrested a few hundred of them. They'll be charged with homophobic hate crimes."  
"Well, can't the police arrest that lot as well ?" Asked the Doctor.  
The General looked at his old friend in disbelief - "They're protesting in support of the gay community. They can't be arrested." He explained.  
"In the interests of equality and inclusiveness, I suppose." Said the Doctor.  
"Yes." Said the General.  
"What about the interests of freedom of speech ?" Asked the Doctor.  
The General looked thoughtful for a moment - "People are free to protest in support of the gay community, Doctor, not to protest against it."

Inside UNIT HQ, the General spoke to his son, the Brigadier.  
"He hasn't said a word yet, sir." He said "But there has been a development."  
"Which is ?" Asked the General.  
"Normallo has posted on Facebook this morning, he claims that he is still in the saucer. We've got his sister, Nogaiz. He's demanding that she be released immediately."  
"You idiots !" Snapped the General in rage.  
"What's Facebook ?" Asked Liz and was met by blank and disbelieving stares.  
"They look very similar, sir." Said the Brigadier.  
"That's true enough." Said the Doctor trying to calm things down.  
"We've done a comparison with HD images from Normallo's speech and the one we've got isn't him." Said the Brigadier.  
"So what do we do now ?" Asked the General.  
"Speaking from a purely unofficial, advisory capacity," said the Doctor cheekily, "We let Nogaiz go free, she's no use to us, we can't even speak to her."  
"Sir," said Corporal Benton rushing in to the room, "you'd better watch the TV - Normallo is about to make an announcement."  
"How do you know ?" Snapped the Brigadier.  
"All the channels have been jammed and there's a message on screen saying that Normallo will speak at 2pm." Said the Corporal.  
Corporal Benton was absolutely right, every TV channel had been jammed and replaced with a message telling of the imminent announcement from Normallo.  
"What time is it now ?" Asked the Brigadier looking at his watch "Three minutes to two, not long to go."  
All eyes at UNIT HQ were glued to TV screens as were all eyes across the UK and, indeed, the world. At exactly two o'clock Normallo's face appeared on the screen.  
"Good afternoon Great Britain, this is Normallo your visitor from the planet Straiturn speaking to you from Hampstead Heath." He said "This morning my sister Nogaiz was abducted from here by the British government - what possible use she can be to them I cannot imagine. She is unable to speak or understand Earth languages and must be greatly distressed by this ordeal. Since this morning I have been requesting her release, so far with no success. For that reason, I must reluctantly demonstrate the power of the Superior Planets with what you would call a 'show of strength'. This demonstration of our power will begin in two of your Earth minutes and will continue until my sister is returned safely to my craft which you humans quaintly call the 'saucer'."  
"Two minutes !" Gasped the General "Doctor, what do you think he'll do ?"  
"I couldn't even begin to imagine, General," said the Doctor "but, obviously, you must make preparations to return Nogaiz to Hampstead Heath immediately."  
"Oh no you don't," came a sudden voice - the voice of Gaylord Wilde - "she is an accessory to homophobic hate speech and she'll stay right here till she is charged and jailed."  
"Now look here, Wilde..." Started the Doctor.  
"Why aren't you in jail, who let you out ?" Snarled Wilde.  
"I was bailed this morning, that's beside the point, in two minutes ... " The Doctor checked his watch "... in one minute something terrible is going to happen to this entire country and the only way to stop that is returning Nogaiz to Hampstead Heath."  
"I take a very dim view of a known homophobe working for UNIT," sneered Wilde "in fact I launched a Twitter campaign against him last night. He's trending worldwide right now."  
"The Doctor is not a known homophobe," said the General "He is a suspected homophobe."  
"He's considered innocent until proven guilty isn't he ?" Added Liz and Wilde hesitated for a moment...  
"None the less, he is trending worldwide on Twitter as a homophobe, isn't that enough, for goodness sake, I was his victim."  
"Nonetheless until there is a conviction, the Doctor still advises us." Said the General.  
"Sorry to interrupt, Sir." Said Corporal Benton entering the room and saluting "Every toilet in the entire HQ has blocked and, er, backed up. There's sewage everywhere..."  
"Then call a plumber, Benton," snapped the Brigadier "Were rather busy preparing for Normallo's attack."  
"With respect sir," persisted Benton "this might be the attack, were getting reports in that toilets all over the region are doing the same - and it all started at exactly five minutes past two just as Normallo finished speaking."  
"He's blocked and overflowed every toilet in the area ?" Gasped the General.  
"Possibly the whole country, in fact, sir." Said Benton and she was right as literally millions of households found raw sewage oozing out of their toilets. Not only homes were affected, businesses, schools, public toilets, hospitals, prisons, facilities - everywhere there was a toilet, there was a mass of stinking sewage.  
"Including public toilets ?" Gasped Wilde in a voice tinged with panic.  
"As far as we know, sir, yes." Said Benton.  
"Right," said the Doctor "we need to get Nogaiz back to Hampstead Heath right away and just pray that Normallo can return those toilets to normal."  
There was a general rushing around and Gaylord Wilde took the opportunity to speak to Liz.  
"Miss Shaw." He said "I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I was very rude to you at the cabinet meeting. I didn't mean it, I was rather irate."  
Wilde could be quite charming when he wanted to and Liz smiled...  
"Well, we were all a bit on edge weren't we ?" She said gently.  
"With regard to the Doctor," continued Wilde "I think the General said that he had been away for some time and wasn't aware of the situation regarding gay equality these days."  
"Well, that's about it." Said Liz "His background means that he wasn't really to know. I hope you'll make allowances for him."  
Wilde nodded and smiled charmingly "Were you with the Doctor while he was away ?"  
"Yes, yes I was." Said Liz "We were both away together, for quite some time, incommunicado so to speak."  
Wilde smiled and Liz continued ...  
"Out of touch with the modern world to some extent. I can't go in to much detail, official secrets and all that stuff." She added.  
"May I ask, as a matter of interest, if you share the Doctor's hostility to the gay community ?"  
"Well," said Liz "I assure you, the Doctor isn't being hostile at all, it's just a matter of being maybe a little abrasive."  
"This place that you and the Doctor were in all this time," Wilde probed "what kind of attitudes prevail there regarding the gay community."  
"Well " said Liz "I suppose people there see homo... the gay community as a bit unusual, maybe not normal, no offence Mr Wilde..."  
He nodded and smiled ...  
"... but unnatural, that's the way people there think. I suppose that's just human nature. It's the way I feel too."  
"Thank you," said Wilde "That's what I wanted to hear. Arrest her."  
Two men stepped forward holding out their police identity cards - "You're under arrest for homophobic hate speech." They said and led a shocked Liz out of the room.  
As Liz exited, the Doctor, the Brigadier and the General entered the room arguing vigorously...  
"This is ridiculous, General," said the Doctor "That alien must be released immediately, goodness knows what Normallo will do next."  
"I'm sorry, Doctor," said the General "I've had orders directly from the Prime Minister that we are to take the lead from Mr Wilde on this issue therefore Nogaiz stays in custody. I must obey my orders, Doctor. However the PM has called another emergency meeting, we've to go there straightaway ... I mean right away."  
"I should think so too." Said the Doctor pushing Gaylord Wilde out of his way, "Let's go."

A giant battle fleet of spaceships began assembling in orbit around the planet Uranus.

The Doctor and the General were ushered in to number 10 Downing Street by staff who apologised profusely for the smell from the building's toilets. On reaching the cabinet room, the Doctor suddenly asked -  
"Just a minute, where's Liz ?"  
"At Camden police station and under arrest." Answered Gaylord Wilde from inside the cabinet room where he was seated at the Prime Minister's right hand "Under arrest for homophobic hate speech."  
The Doctor erupted - "This is ridiculous, you stupid little..."  
"Stupid little what exactly ?" Goaded Wilde.  
The General took hold of the Doctor's arm.  
"Nothing whatsoever." Said the Doctor and Wilde smirked.  
"I need to convene this meeting, everyone." Said the Prime Minister "If that's all right with you Mr Wilde."  
"Well, it isn't actually." Said Wilde "I object to the presence of this person here." He continued pointing at the Doctor. "He is still under arrest and facing charges of homophobic hate speech."  
"That's quite right, of course, Mr Wilde." Said the Prime Minister "However I am advised that the Doctor may be very useful in helping us to defeat Normallo."  
"Are you supporting a known homophobe ?" Snapped Wilde.  
"We've had this discussion already," said the General "The Doctor has not been convicted of any homophobic crime."  
"The Doctor may stay as an observer, then," said Wilde "but he may not speak."  
"Is that your position on the matter Prime Minister ?" Asked the Doctor.  
"Well, of course it is." Said the Prime Minister.  
"Stonewall has spoken." Said the Doctor.  
"What exactly is that supposed to mean ?" Shouted Wilde.  
"Well, yesterday I was wondering who ran this country, now I know." Said the Doctor, "I won't say another word." He held his hands up in a gesture of mock surrender.  
"Now then, Prime Minister," said Wilde, "let me tell you what you are going to do. Nogaiz is under arrest for homophobic hate speech and will remain so, Normallo - that other alien homophobe - will be arrested as well and charged with the same offences. When they are convicted I demand custodial prison sentences as proof of the government's commitment to the gay community."  
As Wilde spoke, the Doctor scribbled frantically on a notebook for the General to read.  
"Yes of course, Mr Wilde..." Said the Prime Minister but was interrupted by the General -  
"Prime Minister," he said "Nogaiz must be released immediately, there is no telling what Normallo might do to the country or indeed the entire world if we continue to hold her. The two aliens have commited homophobic offences but let's not lose sight of the bigger problem. Normallo is demanding genocide and threatening to destroy the whole planet while we discuss hate speech offences."  
"Are you saying we should ignore homophobic hate speech ?" Demanded Wilde.  
"Of course not," said the General "not for a moment but..."  
"She could be given a police caution." Said the Home Secretary " It's the same as a conviction."  
"That's a good idea." Said the Prime Minister. "A good way out for us."  
"No it isn't." Said Wilde "I'm going to tell you what the gay community want and you are going to do it, otherwise you're finished."  
The General read the Doctor's notes scribbled on the pad - "We need to return Nogaiz and speak to Normallo at the same time. It's not a matter of negotiation, we need to speak or we'll get nowhere."  
"Negotiating or speaking to Normallo makes you an accessory to homophobic hate speech - is that what you want, General ? Do you want to be arrested for that ?" Snarled Wilde.  
"Please, Mr Wilde," said the Prime Minister "We have to return Nogaiz to Hampstead Heath - I understand how much that will upset you but we must try to open a dialogue with our common enemy. May I suggest that you accompany UNIT when they return Nogaiz and you can report back to me about what happens. The government will also donate £5 million to Stonewall to help it through what must be a very difficult time."  
Wilde seethed in his chair.

General Lethbridge-Stewart and Gaylord Wilde left Downing Street to head back to UNIT HQ but the Doctor hailed a black cab for Camden police station to collect Liz.  
"I've been charged with homophobic hate speech," she said as they left the station, "I'm to appear in court in a week."  
"Well, let's hope the world is still in one piece by then." Said the Doctor thoughtfully.  
"It was disgusting in there," said Liz "The toilets all blocked up and overflowed. There was ... yuk everywhere."  
"It happened all over the country, Liz." Explained the Doctor "Normallo did it to force the release of Nogaiz."  
"Normallo has the power to do that ?" Asked Liz incredulously.  
"He has the power to do that and a lot of other things too." Said the Doctor.  
"Listen," said Liz, as they entered the taxi "I'm wondering if Normallo is right - not about exterminating people, obviously, but about this homosexual thing. A policewoman in there," she indicated the police station "told me that she joined the police to stop criminals and arrest murderers but she spends all her time investigating so-called homophobic hate crimes, liaising with the 'gay' community and promoting so-called 'diversity' on police websites. No-one dares to speak their mind about homosexuals these days without being arrested. Homosexuals have virtually taken over and there's nothing anyone seems to be able to do about it."  
"Yes," said the Doctor "the same thought had occurred to me. You see the control that that Wilde chap has over the Prime Minister."  
"Exactly," said Liz "that shows what a grip they have on society. The policewoman told me that homosexuals control everything now - they help make laws, they control education - schoolchildren are taught about homosexuality in primary school, you can go to a pub or a nightclub for homosexuals only, you can go on holidays, hotels, cruise liners... everything that caters for homosexuals but if you try to promote a normal lifestyle you get prosecuted and locked up. Stupid, trivial things like I said can result in prison sentences."  
"I know that, Liz, I'm facing charges myself remember ?" Said the Doctor.  
"The government - controlled by homosexuals or, specifically, this Stonewall mob - have an opinion on homosexuality and if you disagree with it, even just holding the wrong opinion, thinking the wrong way ... well, it's like 1984, thought crimes. You're not even allowed to think the wrong way now. It's 'yes poof, no poof, three bags full poof' in this country."  
"That's exactly why there's been so much killing already," explained the Doctor "normal people have been so frustrated for so long that this appearance of Normallo has been like a wake up call. The violence has been terrible, all created by normal people being suppressed for so long."  
"When we get back..." Liz hesitated, "if we get back to 1976 I'm going to warn people. I'll leave UNIT and start a campaign, try to recriminalise homosexuality, try to hold back their power."  
"Good for you, Liz." Said the Doctor impressed, as he often was, with Liz's stubborn determination in the face of adversity  
The taxi pulled up at UNIT HQ and the driver turned round to the Doctor and Liz -  
"You two had better be careful about the way you're talking." He said "because you're absolutely right. Everything you said was right, these bleeding poofs can get married, two men married to each other, then they pay a woman to get pregnant and buy the baby off them. I mean, two poofs can buy a little baby boy, it's a disgrace. There's nothing anyone can do to stop them. I'll tell you right now, I hope Normallo kills the whole lot of them. Fifty years ago it was illegal and now they're getting married in churches and buying little boys. How can that be legal ? How can that be right ? My mother, bless her, she's 82 years old and last year she got a police caution for talking about them the wrong way. It's a disgrace. They hold these 'gay pride' marches all the time, what about people who are proud to be straight, eh? They're only one percent of the population, you know, but they rule the other ninety nine percent. That'll be £14.70 by the way."  
Liz payed the fare and she and the Doctor walked quickly in to UNIT HQ past the still protesting crowds who pelted him with bottles and coffee cups.

Inside UNIT HQ the General had briefed the Brigadier and a squad of other ranks including Corporal Benton regarding the release of Nogaiz. Gaylord Wilde was busy talking on his mobile 'phone for a moment and announced that over 10,000 people were taking part in a 'gay pride' against Normallo' march through Brighton.  
"Congratulations," said the Doctor "why don't you be a good chap and go and join them. We've got a planet to try and save.  
"Now then, Doctor, said the General pushing in between the Doctor and Wilde "let's not fall out again. As you say, we do have a planet to save."  
"I won't be held responsible for my actions with that fool around, General." Said the Doctor quietly and the General ushered him and Liz across the room out of earshot of Wilde.  
"Listen, Doctor," he said in a whisper "I understand how you feel about him, I feel the same but you must watch your step. Every word is a homophobic hate crime these days and I can't afford to lose either of you right now." The General looked round guiltily and lowered his voice even more "There are huge anti-gay demonstrations going on all over the country right now, there's a possibility of widespread civil disorder - maybe even martial law."  
"There are demonstrations going on against the 'gays' ?" The Doctor asked in surprise.  
"There's nothing about that on the TV." Said Liz. "Not a word, I was watching the 24 hour news at the police station."  
"Of course not." Said the General "The British media wouldn't dare report such things. That would be a homophobic hate crime in itself. They only report the 'gay pride' protests, the protests against Normallo. In the real world, that alien is becoming a hero to the straight population. There's a lot worse too... The United Nations is tearing itself apart right now, African and South American countries are openly siding with Normallo, the Arab countries are pointing to the Koran and saying that they will exterminate every gay in the Middle East if Normallo will destroy Israel, there are anti-gay protests all over the world, 1000s of gays have been killed in America and Europe. In Russia, the government allowed a massive gay rights protest of more than 80,000 people outside Moscow..." He hesitated "... they bombed it, they sent in aircraft and bombed the whole lot of them."  
"Jumping Jupiter !" Said the Doctor and Liz covered her mouth in shock -  
"80,000 people ?" She gasped.  
"Goodness knows what's happening in China but there are suggestions of some sort of a deal for them to kill all their gays and Normallo will set them up to rule the whole of Asia, Russia will be allowed to dominate Europe, the world order is falling apart. The United States is paralysed, their government is standing up to Normallo but their people are murdering gays in their thousands. In the USA right now a gay life isn't worth anything, anyone with a grudge and a gun can hunt them down and kill them on the streets. The simple fact is that Normallo is winning."  
"Is Normallo organising all this in some way ?" Asked the Doctor.  
"Oh yes," said the General "He's using everything in social media, Twitter, Facebook, you name it, he's using it. He's also in secret communication with every government including Russia and China. Goodness knows what he's promising or telling them. Goodness knows what they are promising him."  
"Well," said the Doctor "The sooner we put a stop to that, the better."  
"Can we beat him ?" Asked Liz.  
"We'll know better once we've returned his sister" said the Doctor "I want a chat with this alien, face to face."

Nogaiz - the alien sister of Normallo was led in to the room and every head turned towards her, every eye boring in to her. She stood utterly impassive.  
"I don't know if you can understand me." Said the Doctor quietly "We are going to return you to your brother. We are taking you back to Normallo. You will be absolutely fine."  
Nogaiz seemed to perk up at these words and her antennae began to wave around above her head. The Doctor smiled and took Nogaiz gently by one of her arms.  
"Made a new friend have you Doctor ?" Snarled Wilde "You homophobes like to stick together."  
"General," said the Doctor "I told you, I won't be responsible..."  
Wilde jabbed his forefinger in to the upper body of Nogaiz "You go back to your saucer, you stinking, homophobic straight !" He screamed.  
"Let's all calm down." Said the General taking a firm hold of Wilde.

The General, the Doctor, Liz, and Nogaiz travelled in one covered truck with an armed escort while Gaylord Wilde, the Brigadier, Corporal Benton and another squad of armed troops travelled in another. The two truck convoy and another landrover carrying a squad of UNIT soldiers drove past the protestors outside the HQ and set off for Hampstead Heath.  
"The Prime Minister's resigned." Said the General looking at his mobile 'phone.  
"Been replaced by Theremy Maybyn." Confirmed one of the UNIT privates "It's all over Instagram."  
"What's Instagram ?" Asked Liz and was met by blank and disbelieving stares from the UNIT troops.  
"It's hardly a convenient time for her to resign." Said the Doctor.  
"She had to." Said the General "She stood up to Wilde. She defied Stonewall. Once she'd done that she was finished."  
The Doctor and Liz exchanged glances and sighed.

Four human beings - the Doctor, Liz Shaw, the Brigadier and Gaylord Wilde walked towards the saucer in the middle of Hampstead Heath. Along with them walked Nogaiz the sister of the alien Normallo who had come to Earth to demand gay genocide.  
The Doctor checked his wrist - "Exactly 5pm." he said though his companions had no time for idle chit chat about the time.  
Normallo stood in the doorway of the saucer and a quivering of his antennae indicated his happiness at the return of Nogaiz. Ruthless as they were, these aliens experienced emotions that every human could recognise.  
The Doctor allowed Nogaiz to enter the saucer first and she and Normallo embraced lightly.   
"Come in." Said Normallo to the humans who had escorted his sister. The Doctor, the Brigadier, Liz and Wilde tentatively entered the spaceship. The inside was disappointingly bare of advanced technology - or seemed to be. In fact, concealed computers - far superior to anything on Earth - controlled every aspect of the ship. Around the edge of the round single room interior was soft upholstered seating - on to which Nogaiz slumped, munching on an apple.  
"We have released your sister, as you requested." Said the Brigadier.  
"I did not request it." Said Normallo "I demanded it. That's a different thing entirely."  
"Yes indeed," said the Doctor "We have complied with your demand. Will you keep your word and allow the toilets of Great Britain to function properly again ?"  
"I have already done that. I apologise for the inconvenience - if you will pardon the pun -" Normallo made a sound approaching a laugh "but none of it was my fault. You attacked us without provocation and had to be taught a lesson. I remedied the situation the moment you surrendered."  
"We have surrendered in relation to your sister, Normallo." Said the Doctor "but the human race has not surrendered regarding your main demand. Nor do I believe that it will." The Doctor knew full well that this was the exact opposite of what the General had told him but he wasn't going to admit that to Normallo.  
"Quite right Doctor - for once." Said Wilde taking an envelope from his pocket and stepping forward to Normallo "I have here a warrant for your arrest Normallo on charges of homophobic hate speech. You will accompany me to the nearest police station."  
The Doctor and Liz rolled their eyes in desperation. Normallo took the envelope from Wilde's hand and looked at it. He crumpled it up and dropped it on the floor -  
"Shut up," he sneered "you pathetic little queer !"  
"More homophobic hate speech, you all heard it !" Said Wilde before Normallo swiped him with his arm knocking him unconscious.  
The Doctor smirked despite the danger of the situation - "So what's next ?" He asked.  
"Well, we haven't even reached the deadline yet." Said Normallo "I'm quite certain that your world will see sense sooner or later. Sooner I hope."  
"And if they don't. ?" Asked the Doctor.  
"When the deadline is passed, my orders are to destroy your planet." Said Normallo in a matter of fact tone. "However, we in the League of Superior Planets are not vindictive. We may allow a little extra time - as long as the planet is moving towards the right decision."  
"What you call the 'right decision' is what the human race calls 'genocide'." Said the Doctor.  
"Let me try and convince you." Said Normallo turning to and fiddling with some electrical equipment built in to the curved side of the saucer. The saucer interior was suddenly bathed in a pink light and a gentle but powerful, barely audible but insistent beeping tone began. The tone had no effect on the Doctor but he noticed the change in his human companions immediately. The Brigadier, Liz and Wilde suddenly stiffened, their arms by their sides, their eyes glazed...  
Normallo and Nogaiz watched intently and made sounds very similar to raucous laughter.  
"Kill poofs." Said the Brigadier in a dull monotone voice. When he said it again a few seconds later Liz joined in with the same chant - "Kill poofs, kill poofs..." They both turned to Gaylord Wilde - "Kill him." Said Liz. "Die poof." Said the Brigadier. Wilde - bizarrely - under the same mind controlling influence of Normallo's hypnotic bleeping said "I am a poof - kill me, kill me." He began beating his head against the interior wall of the ship.  
Forgetting in an instant all former antipathy the Doctor rushed forward and grabbed Wilde. He pinned him in a bear hug and said "Stop that Wilde - you'll kill yourself."  
"Good." Said Wilde "Kill poofs, kill me..."  
Liz and the Brigadier approached moving slowly, stiffly, zombie like - "Kill poofs, kill poofs..." They intoned.  
"Stop it you two, you're under the control of Normallo ! You're hypnotised ! Get back !"  
Normallo and Nogaiz guffawed as The Doctor pulled Wilde away while Liz and the Brigadier tried to punch at him.  
"Kill me, kill me..." droned the suicidal Wilde as the Doctor dragged him out of the door of the saucer and on to the ground outside where they both fell in a heap.  
"What the heck is going on up there !" Snarled the General watching through binoculars from the cordon, "Looks like the Doctor and Wilde are having a wrestling match, come on."  
The General, Corporal Benton and half a dozen UNIT soldiers dashed across the heath towards the saucer.  
The Doctor stood up and looked back towards the saucer uncertain as to his next move. As he did so the hypnotic bleeping from inside became louder and louder - quite audible now, outside the saucer.  
"Kill poofs !" Said Wilde beginning to stagger to his feet. As the General and his troops approached, they too were affected by the bleeping tone - they stopped running and began to stagger forward, stiffly, like robots - "Kill poofs !" They began chanting. The Doctor realised that Wilde was doomed if they caught him and with Liz and the Brigadier walking stiffly out of the saucer together muttering the same murderous refrain, he pulled Wilde to his feet.  
"Come with me," he said "They're going to kill you."   
Wilde grabbed the Doctors right arm by the wrist and began smashing his own face in to the Doctor's fist - "Kill poofs !" He shouted suicidally.  
The Doctor dragged Wilde across the grass towards a UNIT landrover - it was hard, slow work but, luckily, his pursuers were moving towards him at a snails pace anyway. He pushed Wilde in to the back of the vehicle,started it up and drove at high speed towards the main cordon which was out of earshot of Normallo's hypnotic bleeping.  
The UNIT cordon allowed the Doctor through and it seemed that he had reached safety ... but the bleeping became louder and louder - Normallo was increasing the power every second. "Kill poofs !" Said one of the UNIT troops raising his rifle as he came under its influence and the Doctor jammed his foot on the accelerator. The landrover disappeared from Hampstead Heath at full speed and didn't stop till it reached UNIT HQ.

Next morning, Gaylord Wilde was asleep at UNIT HQ, his face bruised and his eyes blackened but - thanks, ironically to his nemesis, the Doctor - alive. The Doctor and the UNIT personnel were watching the BBC 24 News as dawn creeped over the horizon. As the BBC news explained, it had been a night of terror across London - the entire population within a two mile radius of Hampstead had been affected by Normallo's hypnotic weapon - thousands of people driven to a mad, uncontrolled orgy of murder. BBC news estimated that dozens of homosexual men - or maybe even just men that might have been homosexual or even looked homosexual - had been killed as huge crowds staggered around in a homocidal trance - controlled by a murderous alien who had pledged death to homosexuals and was now delivering it with a vengeance. The riots had died down during the night and some sense of normality was returning.  
"What happened." Asked Wilde sitting up.  
"Normallo used some kind of hypnotic ray." Explained the Doctor "It filled people with an urge, an uncontrollable determination to kill poo... to kill gay men. It worked on Liz the Brigadier, everyone at Hampstead - including you. You were trying to kill yourself. I saved your life but I'm not the kind of person to go on about it."  
"Yes, I remember now," said Wilde "I had this compulsion, this determination, overwhelming it was - I wanted to kill every gay man on the planet, every one ... including myself. How did I get away ?"  
"I put you in a landrover and brought you here." Said the Doctor. "The hypnotic ray only seemed to cover an area of a square mile or two."  
"How come it didn't affect you ?" Asked Wilde.  
"Because I'm not human." Said the Doctor.  
Wilde's mouth dropped open in shock and at that moment the General strode in to the room sporting a black eye and a bandage round his left wrist - "Right, chop chop everyone," he called "Normallo got the best of us last night but that's not going to happen again." He spotted the Doctor - "Ah, Doctor," he said "We've widened the cordon around Hampstead Heath and Normallo seems to have switched off his gadget - maybe ran out of power to use it, eh ?"  
"That's a possibility, General," said the Doctor "Fortunately, there is a possibility of launching an attack on Normallo now."  
"How's that Doctor ?" Asked the General. "We can't get past this defensive shield thing he has round his saucer ... can we ?"  
The Doctor smiled infuriatingly "Yesterday when we went to the saucer, I took this." He pointed to his wrist "It detects force essentially."  
"I thought you were keeping an eye on the time with it." Said the Brigadier entering the room with a large sticking plaster above his left eye.  
"No, I was using it to monitor the area around the saucer. There is a powerful forcefield around it made from bonded oxygen and nitrogen atoms - completely invisible and completely impregnable too."  
"So we can't destroy it then ?" Asked Liz who had also appeared with her head held in a neck brace.  
"I can build a weapon that will temporarily disrupt it," said the Doctor "Then I suppose, we can attack Normallo and destroy him and his saucer."  
"Then we can do that right now," said the General "As soon as you make up this gadget ?"  
"Well, not necessarily, General," said the Doctor "If we killed Normallo today, a hundred other Normallo's might turn up next week, next month or next year. This must be kept as a last resort for when Normallo's patience runs out."  
Corporal Benton entered the room as well - "Brigadier." She said standing to attention "We've managed to trace your son, sir. He was injured, a broken arm, but is fine - he's recovering at Hampstead Hospital."  
"Thank you Benton." Said the Brigadier "Thank goodness for that."  
"He was caught up in those riots last night." Explained the General "He was attacked near his school by a homophobic mob."  
"Attacked by the mob ?" Said the Doctor "You mean he's..."  
"Yes Doctor," said the Brigadier "My son is gay."  
"I had no idea," said the Doctor "I'm sorry."  
"Sorry ?" Snapped the Brigadier "I don't want your sympathy. Why would I want sympathy. I'm delighted. I couldn't be happier that my son is openly and... " He hesitated "... openly and proudly gay." He began to sob.  
"Were both proud." Said the General glancing guiltily at Wilde "I couldn't wish for a better grandson."  
"You said it happened near his school ?" Asked Liz "Is he a teacher ?"  
"No," said the Brigadier "He's a pupil, he's only nine."  
"Nine !" Gasped the Doctor.  
"Nine !" Said Liz "Nine years old ? What the heck is a boy of nine doing thinking he's a homosexual. He shouldn't even know what homosexuality is at that age !"  
"Miss Shaw !" Said the General "sexual diversity is part of the primary school curriculum these days. Children are taught gay tolerance and inclusiveness from the age of four."  
"Four ?" Said Liz disbelievingly "From the age of four ... and can't you see anything wrong with that ? It's ridiculous !"  
Gaylord Wilde barged in to the conversation - "And what is so ridiculous about it ?" He demanded "You'll go to jail for this, homophobic hate speech and I've got witnesses. It won't be the first time for you, will it ?" He took out his mobile phone and began dialling "Police please - homophobic hate crime. Yes, UNIT headquarters in London... and I've just remembered Doctor, you were trying to negotiate with Normallo last night - you're an accessory to homophobic hate speech - you'll go to jail for this as well."  
"I was ordered to meet Normallo by the Prime Minister," said the Doctor "The same as you were."  
"Ex Prime Minister, Doctor." I got rid of her." Snarled Wilde "And Prime Ministers do not give orders to Stonewall, Stonewall gives orders to Prime Ministers."  
"I can see that now, Wilde." Said the Doctor "but London is just winding down from civil insurrection, rioting, mass killings, it's chaos out there - do you really think the police are going to come round here because you report so called hate speech ? They've got a lot more important things to do right now."  
The door to the room burst open and four police in riot gear entered, another body armoured policeman with an Alsatian dog came in behind them then after him, two uniformed military police - "Was there a report of homophobic hate speech here ?" one of them asked.  
"Yes," said Wilde pointing to Liz and the Doctor "Those two right there. Homophobic hate crimes and I'm the victim."  
"Do you need counselling ?" Asked the dog handler.  
"No, I'm shocked but all right." Said Wilde  
The Doctor and Liz were grabbed by the police officers while the sound of a helicopter came from overhead. One of the police officers used his walkie talkie - "OK 'whirleybird' we've got the homophobic suspects - no further assistance needed here. You can return to the fire at that hospital." The helicopter sound faded.  
"It's no more than you deserve Doctor," said the Brigadier as the police led away their two captives "what you two said about my son was disgustingly intolerant and non-inclusive."

Two hours later the General picked up Liz and the Doctor from Westminster police station in a UNIT car driven by Corporal Benton. As they drove back to UNIT HQ the General explained the latest developments -  
"In the last two hours, 26 more saucers have landed all round the world. New York, Paris, Moscow, Beijing, Tokyo, you name it they're everywhere. Africa, South America - goodness knows what's happening. We think that each saucer - or its occupant anyway - is negotiating with individual government's regarding the future of Earth once the gay genocide is over. In Africa they're giving out drugs which they claim are a cure for AIDS. They say it's a reward for killing the very people who caused AIDS in the first place - gays."  
"What's AIDS ?" Asked Liz.  
"It's a disease, a relatively new thing, a virus. Spread by gays - though you won't hear anyone admit that these days." Explained the General "We don't know if the drug works, Doctor, but if it does ... well, for that drug some countries would do anything, literally anything."  
"Normallo and his companions are obviously far in advance of Earth technology," said the Doctor "It wouldn't surprise me if it was genuine. You were right, General, when you told me that Normallo was winning. I think he is."  
"You said earlier that you could make something that would break down Normallo's defensive shield, make him vulnerable to a bomb or a rocket." Said the General "Is that still a possibility ?"  
"Yes," said the Doctor "but is there any point. There are 26 others now all over the world. Killing Normallo won't make much difference."  
"It could be a gesture." Said the General "Maybe the last one we can make. If it succeeds we can pass on the secret to other countries, maybe they could do the same."  
"You think the government's in Africa with the cure for AIDS in one hand will kill their alien benefactor with the other ? Russia ? China ?"  
"I don't know," said the General "but, the fact is, the Prime Minister has ordered it - an attack on Normallo. To 'neutralise' him - kill him in other words. She understands what the consequences could be, I think she wants to go down all guns blazing so to speak. Make a last gesture for Britain."  
"Make a last gesture for Stonewall, more like." Said Liz.  
"Well," said the Doctor "I'll make you the gadget, it's a pretty simple thing anyway, what you do with it is up to you. To tell the truth, though General, I don't know what else you or the planet can do now."

As the Doctor had said, building the defensive ray neutraliser was quick and easy though the equipment was bulky and had to be loaded in to a UNIT truck for transportation to Hampstead Heath. The Doctor, Liz, the General and the Brigadier followed the truck in a landrover.  
"Is there no possibility of negotiation with Normallo even now regarding the homo... the gays in Britain ?" Asked Liz on the way "Maybe, lock them up or intern them on an island or something."  
"Instead of extermination." Said the Doctor "That's a possibility, even as a way of buying some more time to keep negotiating, trying to find some kind of middle ground."  
"The government has ruled out any mediation with Normallo now." Said the General "Whatever happens in the rest of the world, Britain will not back down on this."  
"I suppose Wilde won't let them." Said the Doctor.  
"But locking them up, isolating them on an island or something." Said Liz "Most people would accept that, surely. The British public aren't as 'tolerant' and 'inclusive' - as you put it - on this subject as you seem to think. The majority of the public don't support or condone or accept homosexuality as normal, you know. It's just that the law won't allow them to speak openly about it. The public are gagged and stifled by Stonewall, the government, the law, this social media - it's a mess but one thing is for sure - ordinary people are as disgusted and as offended by homosexuals as they've ever been. They're just not allowed to say so. They wouldn't condone mass murder but they agree with Normallo that something has to be done. Something that allows ordinary, normal people to be heard instead of shutting them up and calling them homophobic hate criminals."  
"Miss Shaw," said the General "You can be arrested for speaking like that."  
"Tell me something I don't know." Sneered Liz.  
"General," said the Doctor "let me talk to Normallo again. Put forward an idea like that, the internment camp idea. He might accept it, maybe the whole world could follow suit, Normallo gets his way but without killing people. It's a win-win option. It's a chance."  
"I'll consider it Doctor," said the General "We need to get to Hampstead first. If it fails, we're back to plan 'b' and that is neutralising the defence shield and blasting Normallo. By the way, Brigadier, we did bring the rocket launcher didn't we ?"  
"Yes sir," said the Brigadier who had remained strangely silent on the journey so far "It's in the truck."

At Hampstead Heath the UNIT truck and landrover passed through the cordons and drove closer towards Normallo's saucer. There was no sign of the alien or his sister.  
"They must both be inside the saucer." Said the General "The door is wide open though. Can you hit that with the rocket, son ?"  
The Brigadier smiled faintly at the familiarity of his commanding officer - "I can do it General." He said "If I must."  
"Good man." Said the General.  
"Don't forget I get the chance to negotiate one more time first, General." Said the Doctor "I'll go in alone, if anything happens to me I'm sure Liz can take my place as your scientific advisor, eh Liz ?"  
Liz nodded weakly, she realised that the Doctor was putting his life in real danger by approaching Normallo again.  
A second UNIT landrover arrived carrying Corporal Benton and other troops. She handed a mobile 'phone to the General - it's the Prime Minister sir." She said .  
The General moved away from his troops and spoke for several minutes on the 'phone. He returned and spoke to Benton and her unit. She nodded and saluted.  
"Now listen Doctor," said the General "the UNIT chaps in the van, they know how to use this defensive shield blocking thing ? In case ... anything happens to you ?"  
"Absolutely," said the Doctor "It's quite simple and I gave them full instructions. The important thing is that the chap operating it gets out of the truck straightaway - at close range, the sound will be harmful to humans."  
"You've explained that to him ?" Asked the General.  
"Yes, he understands that." Said the Doctor.  
"Good," said the General looking over at the truck "Brigadier, make sure that rocket launcher is ready for immediate use... I mean at a moment's notice."  
"It's right here and ready, sir." Said the Brigadier pointing at the weapon now stowed on the back seat of the landrover.  
"Right." Said the General "I spoke to the Prime Minister about your idea, Doctor, about negotiating and all that."  
"Good." Said the Doctor.  
"Benton !" Barked the General and Corporal Benton and her troops rushed the Doctor and Liz overpowering them in an instant. "I'm sorry Doctor," he continued "The Prime Minister absolutely forbids more negotiating."  
"Gaylord Wilde forbids it, more like." Said a furious Doctor as he was physically restrained by the soldiers.  
"Brigadier !" Snapped the General "Get that rocket launcher ready ! You men in the truck - switch on !"  
A powerful humming sound came from the equipment in the truck and a violet haze appeared around Normallo's saucer.  
"The energy shield is neutralised." Said the Brigadier "Move back. Move well back from here before I fire."  
The UNIT troops dragged the Doctor and Liz across the heath away from the vehicles. The two UNIT men in charge of the electronic jamming equipment jumped out of the truck and moved well away too.  
"You too General." Said the Brigadier "Don't worry, I know what to do... Dad."  
Emotion welled up in the General as he retreated after his squad and turned to look back as his son shouldered the rocket launcher.  
"I know exactly what to do !" Shouted the Brigadier and as he said so he turned and fired the rocket ... straight at the UNIT truck which exploded with a deafening crash.  
The UNIT squad looked on in horror, the General was stupified in to immovability, the Doctor and Liz stood open mouthed in astonishment.  
"That's what I had to do! " Shouted the Brigadier " I had to do it. He's right, Normallo is right. Those blasted poofs must die ! Every single one of them. They destroyed my son, they twisted his mind, they perverted him, they made him a poof with their tolerance and inclusivity brainwashing. He was a normal boy and they destroyed him, he's only nine and he thinks he's a poof ! It's all their fault. The poofs, they must die - every last one of them !" He collapsed to the ground sobbing "He's only nine years old and they made him in to a poof... they brainwashed him... they've brainwashed us all... they're brainwashing our children ... we have to stop them... kill poofs... kill poofs..."  
The General walked over and helped his son to his feet. As he did so an amplified voice from the saucer barked - "Move away from the saucer ! Move away from the saucer or you will be annihilated. Move away from the saucer..."  
"Don't just stand there !" Shouted the General "Run !"  
The UNIT troops, the Doctor, Liz and the General supporting his son made an undignified retreat across the heath back to their cordon line.

The giant battle fleet of spaceships from Uranus continued its journey through the asteroid belt and heading for Earth.

It was a disheveled and disheartened group of UNIT personnel that returned to their headquarters from Hampstead Heath half an hour later. The Brigadier was a broken man and the General had him sent to the sick bay immediately.  
"He's going to need psychiatric help for a long time." Said the General to the Doctor "He'll have to undergo diversity training as well if he wants to continue in UNIT. I had no idea that he felt that way about his son, about everything."  
"He's been under a lot of pressure," said the Doctor "He must have felt disappointment, massive disappointment over the way his son turned out but what could he do ? Who could he turn to ? He had to pretend that everything was fine, he couldn't get help for his son because that would be illegal, he couldn't even speak about it. That's what this society is doing to people."  
"I know that now, Doctor," said the General "I always knew it, in fact, but I was as powerless as he was. There's nothing anyone can do these days. I don't know how we got to this state of affairs but you can't talk, you can't even think about homosexuals the wrong way anymore. It's terrible."  
"It's back to the drawing board regarding Normallo as well," said the Doctor "We won't be able to use the same trick on him twice."  
"No," said the General "By the way, Doctor, I'm sorry about all that back at Hampstead, I was obeying orders. The Prime Minister told me personally to prevent you from speaking to Normallo."  
The Doctor smiled - "That's all right, old chap, you're a soldier, you obey orders. Those orders probably came straight from Wilde though."  
"Doctor !" Said the General suddenly "What if Wilde finds out about what my son said ? He'll be finished. He was under emotional stress but that's no excuse for homophobic hate speech - there's no excuse for that as the law stands now. It'll be the end of his career."  
"There's no reason why he should ever find out." Said the Doctor reassuringly.  
Gaylord Wilde minced in to the room at that very moment -  
"Where's Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart ?" He demanded "I've heard reports that he was using homophobic language at Hampstead Heath."  
"My son is in the UNIT hospital right now, being treated for post traumatic stress disorder. He's being kept in isolation." Said the General.  
"I don't care if he's being treated for bubonic plague," sneered Wilde "He was using homophobic hate speech and he must be arrested."  
"He can't be arrested until he's discharged from the sick bay." Said the Doctor.  
"I demand that the military police guard him and prevent him from escaping justice." Snarled Wilde "Or I'll call in the civilian police right now." He waved his mobile 'phone in front of the Generals face.  
"The sick bay is a secure area," said the General "He can't leave there without permission. For goodness sake, he's my son, he's a mental and physical wreck right now."  
"Are you taking the side of a homophobe, General ?" Snapped Wilde "Are you going to be an accessory to his crime, are you ?"  
"The Brigadier is in a secure area just now Mr Wilde," said the Doctor, stepping between the two men "The General and I have important work to do. Please excuse us." He led the General away.

The Doctor and the General escaped in to the Brigadier's office, along with Liz, and closed the door. Corporal Benton was inside the room already.  
"Permission to speak, sir ?" She asked.  
"Go ahead." Said the General.  
"Just to say, sir, " said Benton "Well, we're all very sorry about what happened with the Brigadier. Is he going to be all right ?"  
"Yes," said the General "He's going to be fine."  
Corporal Benton returned to standing at attention beside the door.  
"I'll need to report back to the Prime Minister." Said the General "I'll do it in private, if you don't mind, Doctor." He left the room.  
The Doctor and Liz sat down.  
"What next ?" Asked Liz but the Doctor didnt even try to answer. Instead he turned his attention to Corporal Benton.  
"Corporal ?" He said.  
"Sir !"  
"You don't need to call me 'sir'," said the Doctor "Just call me 'Doctor', everyone else does."  
"Yes Doctor." Said Benton.  
"You can stand at ease, as well." Said the Doctor and Benton relaxed.  
"I've been meaning to ask you," continued the Doctor "Are you any relation to Sergeant Benton of UNIT ?"  
"Yes sir, er, Doctor." Said Benton "Sergeant Benton was my father."  
"I'm sure he's very proud of you following him in to UNIT."  
"He would be, I'm sure, Doctor," said Benton "if he were still around."  
"Oh, I'm sorry," said the Doctor "I didn't realise."  
"He's not dead, Doctor," said Benton "well not exactly, anyway. It all happened around 1990, I was only a baby back then. The Earth was invaded by aliens - creatures with no flesh and blood form, things composed entirely of water. You must have been off at the time because UNIT had to tackle them alone. They eventually sprayed them with liquid oxygen, froze them solid and airlifted them to the south pole. Before that happened, though, my father was captured by them. They turned him in to a water creature too. He's kept in a deep freeze at UNIT HQ in Geneva. They hope one day, we'll have the technology to restore him to normal." An expression of hope flashed across her face "Maybe you could help."  
"Maybe," said the Doctor looking thoughtful, "Yes, Corporal, I'll certainly try."  
"Thank you Doctor." Said Benton.  
"We've still got Normallo to deal with, though." Said Liz "Can we deal with him ? Is there anything else we can do ?"  
"We have to deal with him, Liz " said the Doctor "You see, today it's homosexual men, tomorrow it might be lesbians..."  
Corporal Benton gave a slight gasp of fear and the Doctor continued "... then what, the disabled ? The mentally ill ? The elderly ? That's the problem with creatures like Normallo - they never know when to stop, they never even realise that they should stop. Not until they've destroyed everything that isn't like themselves, until they've destroyed everything except themselves. Normallo's appearance on Earth could be the beginning of a new dark age for all of humanity. That's what I'm fighting for - humanity itself, all of it. We have to beat him."  
The General entered the room - "I've had a word with the Prime Minister," he said "She asked me what I intended to do next. I told her, quite frankly, that I had no idea. Benton, you're dismissed." Corporal Benton saluted and left the room. The General lowered his voice "She mentioned this internment on an island idea for dealing with the gays. It seems to be gaining some acceptance among the cabinet - secretly obviously. She thinks that some of the media are going to defy Stonewall and publish something about it soon. For the moment though, publicly, she's still standing four square against Normallo - she's issued a statement to the United Nations saying that the people of Earth will defy him, fight and resist - all that sort of thing. That's for public consumption of course - most countries at the UN want to accept Normallo's terms, it's only Britain, France and the USA using their veto powers that are stopping it. In the meantime she's trying to get support to break Stonewall's grip on power and present a deal to Normallo. If she succeeds..."  
There was a knock on the door and Corporal Benton stepped in - "Sir," she said "It looks as if Normallo is going to make some sort of announcement."  
"How do you know ?" Asked the Doctor.  
"It's on the TV." Replied Benton.  
The General switched on the television in the room - the screen was completely black with the words 'Normallo will speak to you soon.' printed across it. The General pressed the remote control repeatedly but the picture stayed the same.  
"It's on every channel." He said.  
"Normallo must be jamming the TV signal again and replacing it with his own." Said the Doctor "He really is full of surprises isn't he ?"  
The telephone on the desk rang and the General answered it - he stiffened to attention "Yes sir," he said "We're investigating it right now. Goodbye sir." He turned to the Doctor and Liz "That was UNIT HQ in Geneva," he said "This is happening all across Europe."  
A UNIT private appeared at the door and spoke to Corporal Benton. She relayed his message - "All programming in the USA has been jammed as well sir." She said.  
Gaylord Wilde followed Benton in to the room - "What's happening ?" He demanded.  
"Not long to go now." Said the Doctor nodding towards the television - the words had been replaced by a clock counting down from 10 seconds... then suddenly the face of Normallo filled the screen.  
"Good evening." He said, "This is Normallo of the planet Straiturn, representative on Earth of the League of Superior Planets talking to you from Hampstead Heath, England. I am addressing particularly tonight the nations of Western Europe, North America, Australasia and my own hosts right here in the United Kingdom.  
In these countries there is still some remaining element of defiance against us, they believe that they can stand and fight against the League of Superior Planets. Well, quite simply, the League of the Superior Planets will not be defied. We will not be resisted or fought against. We are not a stupid, savage race of peoples. Indeed, we are vastly advanced in every way compared to you. We have not come here in a spirit of conquest, we have come here to warn your people and to help your people - the majority of your people. To fight us would be not only ungrateful but utterly futile. Nothing you can do could harm us in any way. As it happens, and you know this full well, the rest of your world has no interest in resisting us anyway. Your world is splintered, fractured and broken apart. More countries in your world support our plans than oppose them. Only the unfair distribution of power and vetoes at your United Nations prevents the world from dealing directly with me and coming to full agreement. I appeal to your country, to Europe and the United States, those few countries still holding out in defiance to accept the inevitable, to accept the will of their people and accept the ultimatum of the Superior Planets.  
Twenty six more saucers landed on Earth recently and my colleagues have come here to facilitate negotiations between ourselves and individual governments around your world. With regard to helping your world leaders to make the right choices regarding homosexuality, local negotiations could lead to a variety of outcomes. I can't really comment on events so far away. The people of Africa who have suffered more than most from the gay plague AIDS have already received a great gift - a complete cure for that disease which will save victims however advanced their symptoms. This cure is being distributed free of charge to people all over that continent in return for their enthusiastic response to the demands of the League. When your world accepts our terms, there will be many more opportunities for us to share our science and our technology with all of you. In the meantime..."   
The television screen went blank, gray at first then pink. Then a sound started ... a gentle but powerful, barely audible but insistent beeping tone. The Doctor recognised the sound immediately - "Cover your ears everyone !" He shouted.   
Liz was quick enough to do the Doctor's bidding but the General, Corporal Benton and Gaylord Wilde were overcome by the hypnotic tone. "Kill poofs !" Said the General and Benton together and approached Wilde who, also in a trance like state, intoned "Kill poofs, kill me..." The Doctor grabbed the remote control and tried to switch off the television but it wouldn't respond, he grabbed the plug and wrenched it out of the wall socket ... but the television was unaffected. The Doctor was baffled for a few seconds - a few seconds during which Gaylord Wilde was being literally beaten to death by the General and Benton. He rammed his fist through the screen breaking the television completely.   
The hypnotic effect ceased immediately and the General and Benton realised, in horror, what they were doing. Liz, who was lying face down on the floor with her ears covered looked up and realised that the danger was over for the moment. Wilde was helped up and on to a chair. A loud chanting could be heard through the door of the office, along the corridors and from one end of UNIT HQ to the other. The terrifying chant of "Kill poofs... Kill poofs !" from hundreds of hypnotised men and women.   
The General locked the door and stood against it - "What do we do now, Doctor ?" He asked.   
"Where do TV transmissions originate from ?" Asked the Doctor "Is there a central transmitting antenna ?"   
"Yes," said the General "There is. It's still the main BBC one at Alexandra Palace."   
"You're certain of that ?" Asked the Doctor.   
"Yes," said the General "UNIT has contingency plans to protect or disable transmissions in the event of civil disorder. I've been there on training exercises, I know how to disable it... if that's what you're planning."   
"That's exactly what I'm planning." Said the Doctor "We have to cut off all television transmissions across London to start with, the whole country after that."   
"But what if Normallo's transmitting direct from his saucer ?" Asked Liz. "I'm hoping he's transmitting from the saucer via the TV transmitters." Said the Doctor "If he is, then we can nobble him, if he's transmitting direct then there's nothing we can do."   
"But we have to try." Said Liz.   
"Wilde's out for the count." Said Benton.   
"All the better," said the Doctor "We'll lock him in here when we leave. He might be safe that way."   
The shouts of "Kill poofs !" in the corridor continued.   
"Benton," said the General "You will stay here and guard Mr Wilde." Benton saluted.   
"General, do you have such a thing as ear-plugs ?" Asked the Doctor "We need to make sure that neither you nor Liz are exposed to that hypnotic sound."   
The General reached in to a drawer and brought out a set of ear-protectors - "You can have these, Miss Shaw." He said, handing them to Liz - "I'll make do with these." He brought out a set of rubber ear plugs. "Benton, start 'phoning round every army, air-force, every military and police base in the country - and I mean every one - there must be some people unaffected by this - tell them to disable all TV transmitters. This order has come from me General Lethbridge-Stewart of UNIT personally." He scribbled a few words on a piece of paper and handed it to Benton "This is a priority one code word - use that and they should obey without question."   
"Remember, Benton," said the Doctor with a mischievous grin "When you've finished with that piece of paper... eat it !"   
The Doctor, the General and Liz pushed their way through the chaos of UNIT HQ as hypnotised, zombified service men and women shambled around chanting "Kill poofs... Kill poofs !" 

Driving to the transmission station, London was chaos - the streets were full of panicking people, wild-eyed, terrified. Indoors in close proximity to a television they became enraged, murderous monsters determined to kill every homosexual they could find but once they went outside to carry out Normallo's vile plans they recovered from the hypnosis and were overcome with confusion and fear.   
"Will this place be heavily guarded, General ?" Asked the Doctor as the UNIT landrover approached Alexandra Palace. "Quite the reverse, Doctor, it will probably be virtually deserted. It's all automatic and computerised. We just need to get through the security staff at the main doors. They should recognise me."   
"They may be under the influence of the hypnotising ray," said the Doctor "They'll probably try and kill us rather than invite us in for a cuppa."   
At Alexandra Palace, the Doctor, the General and Liz left the landrover and approached the entrance to the main building.   
"Ear plugs in you two." Said the Doctor "When we get in here, I'll do the talking, we may have to fight our way in. General, remember, these people won't be responsible for their actions, they'll be hypnotised. Only use that thing... " He pointed to the General's handgun in his holster "if it's absolutely necessary."   
"I understand that, Doctor." Said the General with ill concealed annoyance.   
"Let's go." Said the Doctor and he walked straight in through the entrance.   
"Good evening," said the security guard at the foyer desk, "How can I help you ? Oh it's General Lethbridge-Stewart. Hello there. Is something up ?"   
"Something up ?" Asked the Doctor "The whole worlds going mad out there ?"   
"Oh," said the security guard, "I was busy reading my book. I'll put the telly on and see what's in the news."   
"Don't do that !" Snapped the General who had removed his ear plugs "I'm here to switch off the main transmitter. It's a national emergency."   
"I'll call down the supervisor." Said the security guard using his mobile "She won't be a moment."   
Lift doors opened at the other side of the foyer and a smartly dressed woman walked out.   
"Here she is." Said the security guard. The woman shambled forward, walking like a zombie - a zombie controlled by Normallo's hypnotic ray -"Kill poofs ! Kill poofs !" She droned.   
"She's not usually like this." Said the security guard. The General drew his revolver as the Doctor stepped forward and gently took hold of the woman - "I couldn't agree more, my dear," he said "You really must kill poofs, there are some over here, come this way."   
The Doctor led her to the doors and called over to the security guard - "Take her outside, she'll recover out there."   
The security guard did as he was told and the Doctor, the General and Liz moved in to the building. There were no other staff in the building and as the General had promised it was the work of a few moments to switch off the transmitter.

Back at UNIT HQ half an hour later, things we're back to normal - with the television transmission switched off the UNIT personelle had recovered from their hypnotised state. Corporal Benton had briefed the officers on the situation and passed on the General's orders. UNIT squads were driving out to deal with other television transmission stations across an ever wider area. 

The giant battle fleet of spaceships from Uranus took up position around the Earth. 

The General, in the UNIT communication nerve centre tried to keep up with world events which were developing at an alarming rate. Liz Shaw slept off the days exertions on a camp bed in a spare office. The Doctor worked through the night in his laboratory eventually appearing in the communications room as fresh and bright as if he had just returned from a holiday.   
"What's the latest news, General ?" He asked cheerfully. The General, however, was far from cheerful as he received report after report from around the globe.   
"The latest news ?" He asked "I hardly know where to start. Thousands of gays died last night all over the country, all over Europe and North America. We may never know the death toll." He looked at his computer screen and continued... "Japan has announced that it accepts Normallo's terms and has begun imprisoning gay men, the countries of South America have joined together in a coalition with the same aim - accepting Normallo's conditions and have begun exterminating gays. Australia was invaded by China and has surrendered - in return for exterminating gays, Normallo gave them some sort of weapon that knocked out Australia's defence forces, tanks, aircraft - everything rendered useless. The Chinese invaded without opposition. New Zealand will be next, no doubt."   
The telephone rang and the General answered it ... after a few moments he put it back down... "Israel has been destroyed." He said "Incinerated with an alien heat ray of some sort. The Arab countries have vowed to exterminate all their gays in gratitude to Normallo."   
"The world is falling apart." Said the Doctor. Liz entered the room just as Corporal Benton handed the General another report - "Great Scot !" He exclaimed "Russia has invaded Europe !"   
"What ?" Said Liz.   
The General continued reading from the report - "The Russians have invaded Europe, they've seized the Baltic States and are advancing right now through Byelorussia, Ukraine, Moldova, Poland and Romania - the armed forces in those countries are paralysed by some super weapon of Normallo - the same as in Australia - the Russians are advancing without opposition. They'll take the whole of Europe. They must have told Normallo they'll kill all European gays, I suppose. It's only a matter of time before they get here. The whole world order has been turned on its head overnight." The General slumped back in his chair.   
Corporal Benton called over from her position - "General ! Reports coming in that Alaska has been melted."   
Another UNIT Corporal leaned over to the General - "... and Hawaii has exploded." He said.   
"It's only a matter of time, now, till the United States surrenders." Said the General.   
"Normallo has won." Said Liz.   
"Sir !" Called Benton "Another saucer has landed on Hampstead Heath - apparently it contains Normallo's brother. He's called Dyalbendaz apparently."   
"Quite a family, aren't they?" Said the Doctor "Now General, it might be too little, too late but I've made this mechanism during the night." He held out a mobile 'phone.   
"You made a mobile 'phone ?" Said the General unenthusiastically.   
"It's disguised to look like a mobile 'phone," explained the Doctor "but there's a small chance that this will turn the tide - even at this late stage."   
The General stood up - "Really ?" He asked.   
"What does it do ?" Asked Liz.   
"Well," said the Doctor "I analysed that hypnotic tone that Normallo used last night. Fiddled about with it a little, reversed the polarity of the digital recording, it's all a bit technical really. Anyway, the upshot of it is that if I can play the reverse polarity tone to Normallo it will brainwash him. Make him think the opposite way to the way he is just now. If it works, then instead of wanting to 'kill poofs, kill poofs', he'll want to 'save poofs', save poofs' !"   
"More homophobic language, Doctor !" Shouted Gaylord Wilde as he entered the room "You'll go to jail for this, there are witnesses, we all heard you !"   
"Mr Wilde," said the Doctor "Shut up you stupid, ignorant, big headed, self centered poof !"   
"General, are you going to stand for this display of intolerant, non inclusive aggression ?" Demanded Wilde "What's he doing here anyway ? He's trending all over Twitter as a homophobe, I've got 80,000 signatures on my online petition to have him dismissed from UNIT"   
"Guards !" Shouted the General "Escort Mr Wilde off the premises."   
Two military police grabbed Wilde by the arms and dragged him away - "You'll go to jail for this," shouted Wilde "You'll undergo diversity training, you'll be kicked out of the army..."   
"Doctor ?" Asked Liz "How close do you need to get to Normallo to use that thing ?"   
"That's the problem, Liz," said the Doctor "I need to be as close to him as I am to you right now."   
The General sighed - "There's not much chance of that." 

Gaylord Wilde was unceremoniously ejected from UNIT headquarters and lashed out at the two military police - "You'll both go to jail for this," he snarled "I'm going to speak to the Prime Minister - we'll see what she has to say about this lack of diversity." 

At 10 Downing Street the Prime Minister cleared her throat... "Good evening. I am speaking to you, tonight, from the cabinet office at 10 Downing Street. As you are no doubt aware, the disruption to television services forced upon this country, Europe and North America by the alien visitor Normallo has now ended and our lives can return to some normality. Over the past few hours, the government of the United Kingdom as well as the governments of other EU nations, the United States and Canada have been in negotiations with the representatives of the so-called Superior Planets. These negotiations are at an early stage and are continuing now as I speak. No decisions have been made and no agreements reached. The television disruption has been ended as a unilateral sign of good will by Normallo." She was almost choking on the words. "Over the past few days a feeling of hostility has developed in this country and in others, a feeling of hostility and aggression directed against the gay community who, as you all know, contribute so much to our society. The government wholeheartedly condemns this hostility. A hostility which is as offensive as it is unjust. It has been decided, today, by me, that to protect the gay community from potential harm that all gay men in the UK should be moved away from possible danger and should be concentrated together in one area where they can be protected and kept safe. This proposal is mandatory and all homosexual men are required by law to report to their nearest police station within 48 hours. The public are asked to assist this process by identifying to the police anyone they know who is homosexual who has not already reported to the authorities voluntarily. You can report suspected homosexuals - anonymously if you wish - at your local town hall, any police station, online or by 'phoning a special free phone number that will be given out at the end of this broadcast. A similar policy will be carried out in all EU member countries, Canada, Australasia and the United States of America,"   
"That was excellent, Prime Minister." Said the Home Secretary, "Though we'll need to delete the bit about Australia, the Chinese have occupied them."   
"I'll contact the BBC and you can broadcast to the whole country tonight." Said the Deputy Prime Minister.   
"It's complete surrender," said the Prime Minister "Total capitulation. I've abandoned the gay community - who contribute so much to our society, of course - completely abandoned them."   
"No, Prime Minister," said the Home Secretary "It's just a matter of backing the majority against the minority."   
"But with the gay community," said the Prime Minister "We always back the minority against the majority. It's been like that for years. Remember 'clause 28' and equal marriage - the vast majority opposed those, opposed them vehemently in fact, but we ignored them and did everything Stonewall told us to do ... and now this..."   
"We're just taking back power from the gays and giving it back to the straight community," said the Home Secretary "The straight community have made quite a contribution to our society as well, remember, maybe it's time they were heard, it's time we started listening to the straight majority again. This Normallo thing has opened our eyes. Shown us how we've been grovelling to Stonewall, letting them control our lives. Normallo was right about powers, rights and liberties. He hasn't changed us, he's just forced us to open our eyes."   
"Anyway," said the Deputy Prime Minister "We can't fight Normallo, he's too powerful. Either we kill the gays or he will, or the Russians will. If we do it this way, we can exterminate the gays and still save Great Britain as an independent country. Otherwise the Russians will march in tomorrow and do it anyway. This way, we can save the country. That's what you're doing Prime Minister - you're saving the whole country from destruction."   
"You're right." Said the Prime Minister decisively "From now on, a straight government running a straight country for a straight people - that is how we will go forward."   
There was a knock on the door and an aide peeked round - "Gaylord Wilde is here to see you, Prime Minister." He said.   
"I'm too busy to see Mr Wilde right now," said the Prime Minister "and I will be too busy to see him for the rest of the day. Tell him that." 

The giant battle fleet of spaceships from Uranus began taking up their final positions around earth. 

In UNIT Headquarters one of the telephones rang and was answered by Corporal Benton - "Doctor," she said "It's for you, it's Normallo."   
Every eye in the room turned to look at the Doctor as, with a puzzled expression on his face, he took the 'phone - "Hello." He said "This is the Doctor." After a moment he said "I'm fine, thank you, Normallo, and you ? ... That's good... Yes, I heard that your brother had arrived... Really ? ... A completely new development eh ?" The whole room watched in silence as the Doctor continued - "You want me to come to the saucer for a face to face chat ? ... I see ... When would be convenient may I ask ? ... Right now ? ... Yes, I can come immed..."   
The Doctor was cut off in mid word as he totally disappeared. One moment he was in the UNIT communications room, the next he had simply vanished. The telephone he had been holding hung in the air for a split second then rattled down on to the desk.  
"Where did he go ?" Asked the General   
"Could he have been taken by Normallo ?" Asked Liz "Teleportation ?"   
"You mean he could be with Normallo right now ?" Asked the General.   
"It's possible," said Liz "With Normallo, anything is possible."   
"Well, that's perfect," said the General "That's exactly what we wanted. If the Doctor's in the saucer, face to face with Normallo, he can use his new weapon. Normallo might have made his first big mistake, with a bit of luck, it might be his last."   
"I don't think so," said Liz "The Doctor didn't take the weapon, it's here." She held up her hand, in which was the mind control weapon that the Doctor had made - the weapon that was the last hope of the world. 

The Doctor looked around the interior of the saucer - "Teleportation," he said "Very impressive."   
"Thank you, Doctor." Said Normallo. "You already know my sister, you kidnapped her recently."   
"Not me personally," said the Doctor "I was very much opposed to the idea."   
"May I introduce my brother, Dyalbendaz."   
The Doctor nodded towards the other alien - "Pleased to meet you." He said.   
"Dyalbendaz cannot answer you," said Normallo "He has not had surgery on the vocal cords like me, but he does speak your Earth English and can understand us, can't you ?"   
Dyalbendaz nodded.   
"Jolly good." Said the Doctor reaching in to, first, the right pocket of his jacket, then the left.   
"Britain, Western Europe and the USA have proved particularly resistant to my demands so far," said Normallo "but they seem to be coming round to my way of thinking at last. A whole day without breakfast TV or 'Bargain Hunt' seems to have concentrated their minds superbly."   
"Have you brought me here just to gloat ?" Asked the Doctor searching through his trouser pockets.   
"Not at all," said Normallo "Have you lost something ?"   
"No," said the Doctor, groping at his inside jacket pockets "I think I've left my mobile back at UNIT - I was going to take a photo of us all together and post it on the Twitter."   
"I thought for a moment you were looking for a weapon." Said Normallo "It would be quite pointless, no weapon of any sort would work within the secure environment of this saucer. Electronic countermeasures would prevent that."   
"Oh really ?" Said the Doctor "I probably wouldn't have been able to take a photo after all then."   
"You are not of this planet, are you Doctor ?" Said Normallo.   
"No, I am not human."   
"I see. Then why do you concern yourself with human affairs ?"   
"Why shouldn't I, Normallo - you do."   
"Touché, Doctor," said Normallo "You are quite right. In fact, it is human affairs that I wanted to discuss with you." "Really ?" Said the Doctor.   
"There have been new developments back on my home planet of Straiturn." Said Normallo "Developments that affect my mission here on Earth, developments that greatly affect human affairs at this moment in time."   
"May I ask the nature of these developments ?"   
"Quite simple. The people of Great Britain, Europe, the USA, indeed, the whole world need not exterminate their gay populations. That policy has been revoked with immediate effect."   
The Doctor was astounded - "You've changed your mind ?" He asked.   
"Not exactly, Doctor." Said Normallo "There is a little bit more to it than that but the policy has been revoked. That is the important point." 

The General drove the UNIT landrover carrying Corporal Benton and Liz Shaw at high speed across London towards Hampstead.   
"What if we're wrong ?" Asked Liz "What if the Doctor isn't with Normallo ?"   
"If we're wrong, Miss Shaw," said the General "Then the world is in an even bigger mess than it was five minutes ago, though that hardly seems possible."   
Benton was on her walkie talkie - "Sir !" She reported "The Russians have crossed in to Germany and the Slovak Republic. San Francisco has been destroyed by a massive earthquake." 

The giant battle fleet of spaceships from Uranus began to enter the Earth's atmosphere. 

"Countless thousands of people have died because of you and your meddling, Normallo." Said the Doctor.   
"Yes," conceded Normallo "but they were just poofs. They don't matter."   
"They were human beings," said the Doctor "Their lifestyle and their behaviour may seem abnormal, unnatural, revolting to you and I and most people but they were still human beings."   
"Well, as I say," emphasised Normallo "Your governments have now been spared the onerous duty of slaughtering them."   
"May I ask why ?"   
"I told you, there has been a change in policy."   
"You have destabilised this entire planet for nothing."   
"No I havent." Snapped Normallo, "That was never our intention. A handful of stubborn countries caused all these problems by defying us. If they had accepted our terms everything would have been fine."   
"Your terms were morally impossible to accept for any decent person let alone an entire country."   
"The majority of decent people and the majority of countries support us and our aims." Said Normallo, "But let's not argue, we shall leave the saucer now and I will announce to the world the news I have told you. I have arranged for the world's media to be present for this important and auspicious moment." 

The UNIT landrover drove through the final cordon at Hampstead Heath. The General, Liz and Corporal Benton got out and walked up towards the saucer. A huge scrum of television camera crews had gathered and Normallo could be seen walking towards them accompanied by the two other aliens - Nogaiz and Dyalbendaz - along with the Doctor. They stopped a few yards from the television cameras. The journalists shouted questions but the Doctor waved them to silence.   
"How did all these TV people get up here ?" Asked the General and one of the UNIT soldiers explained that Normallo had demanded that the world's media be present for a 'historic announcement' - "We didn't like to argue with him." Said the soldier apologetically.   
"That's all right." Said the General.   
"Normallo has a very important announcement to make !" Shouted the Doctor "An announcement of global importance."   
"Ah, General Lethbridge-Stewart," said Normallo "and Miss Shaw, the Doctor's assistant. Please come forward and join us."   
The General and Liz stepped up. The General stood to attention at one side while Liz hugged the Doctor - at the same time pushing the hypnotic beam weapon in to his hand. The Doctor smiled and placed it in his pocket - "We might not need that, Liz," he whispered "Normallo's about to surrender ... I think."   
Liz looked round in disbelief.   
"I am Normallo, representative on Earth of the Superior Planets," said Normallo to the cameras "I am speaking to you live from my base of operations in England. Due to recent developments back on my home planet of Straiturn I can..."   
A figure raced from among the camera crews towards Normallo - it was Gaylord Wilde !   
"I have here a warrant for your arrest, Normallo, on charges of homophobic hate speech," he said "You will accompany me to the nearest police station."   
Normallo clubbed him to one side knocking him unconscious.   
"As I was saying," continued Normallo "I can now announce that there is no need for the government of Great Britain or the government's of Europe or the USA - indeed, the whole world - to exterminate their homosexual populations. I repeat - there is now no need for any government on Earth to exterminate homosexuals. I am sure that this will be a great relief to many of you..."   
The General, Liz and the Doctor exchanged glances - it was true, Normallo had given up, surrendered. Around the world, millions of people greeted the news either with delight or massive disappointment.   
At ten Downing Street the prime minister tore her speech in half.  
"... I have here in my hand..." Normallo held up a small glass bottle "... a substance developed by scientists of the Superior Planets. It is a virus - a virus completely harmless to normal human beings but instantly lethal to homosexuals. I will now release this virus in to your atmosphere."   
The Doctor and the General both leapt at Normallo, wrestling with him. They struggled one way, then the other, Nogaiz and Dyalbendaz joined in as did Corporal Benton and the UNIT troops nearest to the melee. Gaylord Wilde pulled himself to his feet but was knocked unconscious as Normallo threw a UNIT soldier on top of him. The three aliens possessed enormous strength - enough strength to lift many times their own body weight, in fact. Corporal Benton was thrown to one side, the General tossed head over heels, the Doctor found himself spun above Dyalbendaz's head in a move rarely seen outside of a professional wrestling ring. However in the struggle, the bottle was dropped and caught by Liz.   
"Give me that bottle !" Demanded Normallo.   
"Never," said Liz "You'll take this over my dead body."   
"If necessary." Said Normallo.   
A gunshot rang out - the General had drawn his revolver and fired in the air - "Right, you three aliens," he said "Move back and put your hands... your appendages up. Miss Shaw, hold on to that bottle. Doctor are you all right ?"   
"Yes," said the Doctor struggling to his feet   
"Benton ?"   
"I'm fine sir." She answered and also drew her revolver, aiming it at the three aliens who now stood with their claw like hands in the air.   
"There is nothing you can do now, General." Said Normallo "Remember, we aren't alone. There are more of us all over the planet. You cannot defeat us, even if you kill the three of us you will have achieved nothing. Anyway, " he seemed to smirk though with his expressionless face, it was hard to tell "The Russians will be here in a day or two, there's nothing you can do to stop that."   
"The Russians, here..." Said the General, patriotism welling up in every atom of his body "Well, you won't live to see that."   
He pulled back the hammer of his revolver... A huge shadow fell across the ground, like a solar eclipse, like a massive body blocking out the sun and plunging the whole of Hampstead Heath from day in to night in an instant. Everyone, the Doctor, Liz, the General, the aliens, the television crews, the UNIT soldiers, everyone looked up and saw ... 

The giant space battleship from Uranus hovered above them - massive, gigantic, stunningly huge... enormous almost beyond description, the size of an entire city, the spaceship hung in the sky. Unmoving and silent. A blue beam of light suddenly stretched from the ship to the ground and instantaneously six alien creatures appeared. They were tall males with powerful physiques, dressed from head to toe in black pvc. They had dark olive skin, black hair, powerful dark eyes and classically handsome features. Alien weapons crackled and delivered instant death to Normallo, Nogaiz and Dyalbendaz whose smouldering bodies slumped on the grass.   
One of the newly arrived aliens stepped forward and announced in a booming voice - "I am Bendiboi. Leader of this battle fleet which has travelled here from Uranus..."   
"From where ?" Muttered the General.   
"Uranus," said Liz "The planet Uranus."   
"Oh," said the General "I thought he said..."   
"Normallo and all his comrades on your planet are now dead, their saucers destroyed and the gay community is safe." Announced Bendiboi "However Earth must now become a gay planet like Uranus - all straight men must be forcibly converted to gayness or die."   
Gaylord Wilde jumped to his feet - "Oh thats wonderful news, Bendiboi let me help you, let me kill all those horrible straights... in the interests of tolerance and inclusiveness of course !   
Liz opened the bottle and threw it at Wilde and Bendiboi who both immediately screamed and began to dissolve as did the crew of homosexual aliens - they screamed and screamed and... 

...Liz realised that it was her who was screaming.   
"Calm down, Liz" said the Doctor "You're absolutely fine. You're having some kind of a nightmare."   
Liz looked round, she was inside the TARDIS, the doors were open, she could see the UNIT laboratory outside - the old laboratory, 'her' laboratory. She was back in 1976.   
"The TARDIS blew a fuse or two," explained the Doctor "You were knocked out by the blast - so was I actually - you weren't unconscious long but you've been screaming and kicking about. Did you have a nightmare ?"   
"A nightmare ?" Said Liz "Yes, a nightmare, that's exactly what it was."


End file.
